Today i made a letter wich i will never send (and can't anymore) to my father he died in 2005 after a terrible battle on stomach cancer the letter was about my fear around that periode and grieve of him dying but also about the fact that he had health problems all of his life before that and i now think that has probably suffered from tms his whole life i feel kinda quilty thinking that..strange thing because even when i never heard of tms i thought many times he was suffering from mind/body symtomps in my youth i heard many times : you are so much like him ! that's scares me a lot, (because of his healt issues, i feared that ) he was a great and loving man, and a caring father and husband : love him for that but he was a worried man too , with depressed periods in his life mostly because of his healt issues and therefore lost his job and became depressed about that a long story but mostly : his life was a struggle for the most part sadly too now on my own pain journey ( by the way: not have the same healtproblems!) i wonder : is tms in my DNA? and what if it does, is it too much to think i can be better of than him? ! he never had a cure for his problems : and he did search for answers and solutions now scared my road will be the same. interesting also that the SEP programme brings this to the surface fear of being or becoming my dad..