Onto a new day ! Woke up this morning with a little stiffness in my back. My back has actually started "cracking" in this past few weeks, especially when getting up from sitting or lying down. It doesn't cause any pain, but produces an odd sensation. I felt a couple twinges this morning but decided to go running anyway. I felt some real stiffness and resistance when I was pulling the laces to tighten up my shoes. Felt a great deal of pressure on my lower back but fought through it and went on my run. I had to keep reminding myself that any little twinges were just psychological/emotional. I felt a little bit of weakness about 10 minutes in, but kept it at bay with thinking. The stiffness came back after the run, feeling a little bit fragile in the lower back. That sent me back to my MRI report where I started to notice all the little details. It seems like my unconscious is hijacking my conscious brain and searching for a physical reason for the symptoms. If the conscious mind can accept a physical explanation, then the unconscious gets to have a field day with the pain. It's worrysome, even though my MRI report is pretty benign and even the orth. surgeon didn't see any cause for alarm. But stuff like "small annular tear" and "mild bilateral neural foraminal narrowing" make me start to worry: maybe the TMS diagnosis is wrong, maybe there are structural problems that are only going to get worse, maybe I should lay off the activity and just be careful. But then I think to myself that there's just NO way that these little so-called "abnormalities" (NORMAL wear and tear, should just call them "normalities"), there's NO way these "normalities" could be causing pain in my knees, aches in my thighs, twinges in the middle of my back, dizziness, etc. It just can't add up. And yet my unconscious mind is trying to play doctor and find some wild explanation for how the gel is leaking and touching on all sorts of nerves that cause pain pain pain. I am in the process of setting up an appointment with one of the doctors recommended by Dr. Sarno in the NYC area, because I recognize that I don't think I'm ready to go through this all alone. I have always been the personality-type to try to do EVERYTHING by myself, believing that asking for help was a sign of unforgivable weakness. But I need to accept that being human means being weak sometimes, and I can't be afraid to ask for help. I am hoping that the doctor will be able to get me in soon and give me some confirmation and advice around the TMS diagnosis. I continue to read Sarno's work and go through the daily reminders. Thanks to everyone for taking the time to read. Things ARE getting BETTER, but it's still a struggle. The worry is strong within me. I hope everyone has a great day !