Day 6 Day 6 - Thinking about healing and love and forgiveness

Dear S/mo.../mother

I forgive you. I am at peace with how you are now. I respect that you have your bubble & and are not to be disturbed from it. It's taken me decades to realize that, but I understand.

In a way, I am like that too. I have a friend in total pain, she's obviously got so much TMS that she's in the hospital and I feel that her energy drags me down. It's hard because we've both been in a supportive network for each other for at least a decade. But I don't want to be there.

In a way, I think you can get TMS from others. I definitely got worse stomach issues since I've known her. I already had them yet they increased to where I had real serious ulcers. I think I took on her pain, but I must not. I need to deal with my own stuff only, and focus on healing. Focus on my family, my dh in particular.

Today I go forward with love, light and healing. I am sending that out from me to the world.

I am also sending love, light, healing and forgiveness to myself too. I am getting better. Last night I was able to do 3 songs on Zumba World Party on "medium" intensity and I loved it. Loved being challenged. Loved being able to do this.

I want to be 100% better today but it seems to be taking a while. That's ok, every day, every step forward is a good one.

I am sending my feet good energy. They are great. My left foot in particular is important and loved. And I will stop the negative messages to it, stop the pathway to pain. Just stop. I love you left foot. I love the heel, the arch, the ankles. You are so important to me. You are the greatest. You are healing every single day. You go forward with love and we all know you love to dance and walk.

That is all for now.

 

Day 7 - A Few Steps Forward & Some Steps Back

I danced 4 songs on Zumba World Party XboxOne. That was fun. I can't do jumps, but I never could. Doesn't matter much as I've been getting 5 stars in this. I love dancing, always have.

I'm about to dance again. My foot was doing better then it went back to being in pain a bit. Every little bit helps. I'm about to go dancing again though, gosh I love it!

 

You are my inspiration Ruth!

 

TY NTC

Day 11 - Extreme exhaustion, lots of tms in my left foot

Right now the cat just vomited because I forgot to feed her the night food. She has dry food but she is into her routine. Me? I'm always scattered except when I feel super organized.

I've been dancing a lot today, about 800 cals, I can barely keep my eyes open.

I did not move when I saw my cat doing this, I know the routine, there's more than one, and she'll try to find something of mine on the floor to do this on. No problem. I watched, tried not to get too stressed out but I am so tired, I could just go to sleep right now.

I will clean it up, tonight. I will get her food tonight. I will take care of her. She is my responsibility. She is a wonderful lovable beautiful kitty.

My PF foot pain has been acting up more, but let me try and think back when it was worse. I still can't walk really. I walked to the store with the DH but honestly it hurt so bad. It's not a matter of working through the pain, this pain is so bad. I want to get better. I hate that TMS attacked my foot. Louise Hay says "afraid to go forward", but that's not it. I do not know why but it hurts all the time, in spite of dancing and doing activities I love. I want to heal.