Day 48 (Bonus Day 6) I´m still afraid

I´m afraid of so many things still. I can hear by my inner dialogue that I´m afraid of this and that. Even being on sick leave from work a week make me worried I´m not performing enough etc. I think my fear is keeping my nervous system on alert way too much.

I´m so much better at handling sadness and anger, but I´m having much slower progress on fear and feeling safe and adequate.

 

You and me both, my friend - and probably most humans. Apparently this shit was evolutionarily designed to keep us safe in our small ancient enclaves. The mechanism doesn't work well in the modern world.

 

@Hedger
Try being kind to yourself regardless of what type of TMS it is. Changing the way you speak to yourself can often change the way you see something.

 

Courage doesn't mean not having fear. It means having fear and moving forward anyways. In fact, 'courage' would have no value if we don't admit to ourselves we are scared first.

That's awesome! Most people can't or try and shush it down. Listen to it without judgement.

When I made a list of stuff I was afraid of, then I knew when I was actually growing... I would be in that situation and having acknowledged I was afraid then Decided "I am not letting this fear ruin my day"... and one by one, they start to go away.

 

I space out a lot and get flare ups every time I confront my fears. I feel great when I don't think about it but when I do I get stuck in the same places. Sometimes I like to pretend the trauma didn't exist but something triggers it. I wish I wasn't so hypersensitive to everything but there's no quick fix. I'm focusing on the language of self-healing and inner strength when the world is rife with noise and mixed messages. I feel like the odd one out 99% of the time but I want to really make a difference in the world.