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Day 45 (Bonus Day 3) The hidden fear

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Hedger, Mar 10, 2021.

  1. Hedger

    Hedger Well known member

    So the family has recovered from a full month of sickness (taking turns) and my pain is almost zero again. Good!

    I was having maybe 5-10% pain, and something happened in my emotional life (at work) that just made my whole body relax and I could feel my hip/leg got even better and my pain was 0%. I went from feeling good to fucking great body wise. When evening came I had this small emotional worry (no idea about what) but still 0%. When I fell asleep I instantly had a nightmare being chased by wolves, and when I thought I was getting away I got flanked and killed from behind - woke up. The day after I was back to 5-10% pain.

    This is the fourth time now (!!!) that this exact order of events have happened. Going from small amount of pain down to 0% and feeling extremely relax -> having instant nightmare of getting killed or similar when I fall asleep and waking up extremely afraid-> pain back up to 5-10% the day after.

    I´m still very happy and proud to in general be at only 5-10% pain, but it would be so great to crack the next piece of my emotional puzzle and have that 0% and relaxed feeling more often, and without it bringing nightmares. It´s like that state opens up a path to my unconscious mind, and when I fall asleep, extreme fear appears.

    And I don't seem to be able to understand the fear or handle it yet, but I´m sure I will sooner or later =). It is scary and intriguing at the same time. The fear is so powerful, the kind of fear you felt as a kid.

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