I can forgive much of what has happened in the past, and I can reason that people did not mean to cause the harm they did. But what I am having a huge problem with is now. If someone upset me in the past I did not do much about it, I just internalised the pain, and suffered. Now I know that is where all the pain came from - I do NOT want any more. But people are getting to me and upsetting and making me angry. Part of me just wants to keep away from them - and live my own life - if they can't play nice - then I won't play! But I know it will be hurtful to them. I also know they don't understand the whole TMS thing. They just expect me to be as usual. But I can't. So what do I do? This has been a big setback for me - the pain is back with a vengeance and it is hard to expel. I know I have to deal with it. I also realised when reading the self monitoring stuff that I have had 'people' thrust at me all my life. My dad was taken from me and then loads of 'step relatives' appeared who I had to accept. I went to 12 different schools - and moved loads of times, so I have constantly had 'new people' to deal with , with all their expectations that I felt I 'had' to fulfil. This only just struck me doing this today - so it is not surprising that I just want to hide from 'people' (particularly relatives!) It is how I feel - but is it a good way to deal with the situation? Any advice?