Day 4: We don’t known what’s wrong

[Dakk]

I think the most disheartening thing a doctor told me is that they don't know the cause of my symptoms. They told me it's muscular and that I never needed the surgery, that it's water under the bridge, that it's just stress and anxiety, and that they can't find anything wrong or pinpoint it, even though I feel all this pain in my neck, shoulders, back and legs.

Hearing that made me feel very angry and very sad. Angry because it felt like they were saying my pain isn't real, and sad because I went through a surgery I didn't need.

I think the way I've kept it in my mind is that I'm always looking for a structural reason for all of this. If nobody can tell me the cause, part of me thinks they must have missed something, so I keep searching. I'm starting to understand that "they can't find anything wrong" might actually be good news, because it means my body isn't damaged and this is my nervous system being stuck on high alert. The pain is real, but stress and anxiety turn the volume up on it.

I'm adding the surgery to my past events list because I think it's something I need to work through.

 

[Urbanjourney]

In our current age of sophisticated diagnostic equipment and centuries of medical knowledge, I can understand hearing the words "We don't know what's wrong" may make you think you're the 1 in a bazillion people suffering a truly rare disorder no one can knows about but the actual reality of it is if they've done their usual diagnostic tests and can't pinpoint it, it strengthens the argument enormously for being a neuroplastic condition that is entirely solveable....sometimes easy and sometimes not as easy. I initially felt excited then resentful reading of any of Dr Sarno's patients who got better straight away just by reading but have since come to be aware of that thought as another log on the fire for keeping TMS activated.
Just keep showing up and doing the work and keeping in mind any evidence you've got that points in the contrary direction for a structural issue.
High five from another person currently in the trenches armed with not guns but information and a supportive community