I feel like a kid with a new toy. But better. Hopeful. think I have been preparing for learning about TMS for a long time. I just can NOT continue the pain/fear/depression cycle. This spring--before I found Dr. Sarno-- I purchased a professional book called "The Embodied psychotherapist" by Robert Shaw. (Bruner Routledge Press). I know I have been absorbing absorbing too much anxiety in my work. I cut down on my practice hours, partly because of pain, and also to take better care of myself. I recommend the book to clinicians. But I also thought I had something wrong, and degenerative going on with my spine. Now it is getting through to me that despite MRIs and scary words like "stenosis" and "scoliosis" the main contributor to my pain has been my fear and anxiety. Today I worked in my studio, cleaning things out. I do get muscle tension throughout the day, but I decided to go with it, and not panic. Yeah, I kind of hurt, but I have been reminding myself not to focus on it, and not to fear. My reward is a good smear of "Icy Hot" which does calm my muscles down and helps me to relax my back with a pleasant sensation. Soon I will talk to my doctor about discontinuing gabapentin and cymbalta. They didn't help much anyway--another clue that I have TMS.