I read The Mind Body Prescription almost a year ago. I feel like I accept that I have TMS but I have made no real progress. A couple of months after reading, I got a psychotherapist because the knowing and believing wasn't enough. Therapist wasn't family with TMS treatment and I made zero progress. I had a stressful, ongoing life event happen shortly after that distracted me from the recovery program. I've been in chronic pain since a car accident in 2007. I had severe sideways whiplash. I'm a text book example of TMS or at least I think so. The injury got better, then got way worse 6 months in. For a few years, I was unable to do much of anything. I was pretty much home bound. I developed a severe anxiety disorder. Walking around my very small block caused me pain and I had to push through serious anxiety just to make it around the block. My life as I knew it, gone! I worked from home 10 hours a day, 6 days a week when I was injured. it was all I could do to push through and keep the job for the next 3-4 years. The job was stressful and I grew to hate it. I finally stopped working in 2010. In 2011, what ultimately finished me off was silent migraines. I get the flashing light auras in my eyes and am temporarily blinded. Thankfully, I don't get the headache pain, ever. The blindness must be enough to scare, distract and affect my life. I seem to get them in clusters, sometimes for a couple of months. I never know when they'll hit so they kept me from going anywhere alone when they get bad. I took Reiki (hands on healing) classes and was certified through three levels of this in 2012 and started to regain some of my life. Started hiking again (I'm a Nature/Landscape photog), started venturing out away form the house with others, and then alone. The pain is hit and miss, it comes, it goes. I get through it. Although at times, I've been totally suicidal when the pain is severe and lasts more than a couple of weeks. When the migraines come, they shut me down. Depending on how long the clusters last, I am back to square one, afraid to leave the house alone. Sometimes afraid to go anywhere or participate in hiking or other activities even with others. I still keep pushing and I don't shut completely down like I used to. However, this means I've found myself in some very uncomfortable situations with a blinding migraine; out driving, in the woods and I have to hike out when I can barely see. I've had two in the past two weeks while out shooting photos, one at the grocery store. thankfully, I've been having them for a couple of months so was prepared. I wasn't alone and had backup to drive me home. It is exhausting, as I am sure all of you know. Beyond frustrating. I guess I didn't mention, in addition to the migraines I've had chronic neck pain, TMJ pain, shoulders, upper back, mid back, low back pain, sometimes knee pain, either knee, tinnitus and off and on blurred vision. I've also experienced severe bouts of eczema, painful awful eczema on both hands. Currently, I'm in the middle of a migraine cluster, 2 months. For the past several days, I have acute TMJ pain across the whole side of my face. thankfully, that comes in bursts. Excruciating for minutes and then fine. Rinse. Repeat. Right now, it's 430am and I can't sleep because the pain wakes me every hour or so. I did my best to keep going out of the house, but I'm spent. I had an awful migraine experience the other day while out. I'm homebound for awhile. I do have stressful, emotionally painful events going on in my life and have throughout this nightmare. I'm connecting the dots, but so far, it's not really helping to alleviate the symptoms. I think the periods of normalcy in between flare ups is starting to make me more frustrated because it's like I get a taste of having some parts of my life back and then boom/smack, I get knocked back down again. Sometimes for months. I'm hoping if I stick with this program, I'll make some progress. I keep telling myself I CANNOT LIVE LIKE THIS ANYMORE! And I keep on living it. I am exhausted. So anyway, I thought I'd make a post since I'm up in the middle of the night and staring at the walls is getting a little boring. Thank you to whomever created the free recovery program and for this forum.