New Program Day 4: Breaking the Pain Cycle

[clou88]

This is the best day yet and it's only Day 4 I can learn to run through the fear of "I'm damaging this" or "I'm hurting that". And even forget about "that was a tough run" or "that was my fastest run". My challenge is to run and enjoy it and not worry about the outcome

My Day 3 was phenomenal! Had my first pain-free day in over 2 years. Today, I'm back to stressing. I just need to continue and stick to the plan.

 

[PlainJane]

I've been away from this site for a bit, listening to a special that lasted 9 days called Proven. I was hoping they might mention TMS but they only got close. It was quite a good program, and I haven't quit my work of healing, just haven't been putting in the time here, which I plan to get back into. I'm still faithfully meditating, currently focusing on anxiety. I totally get why I ended up getting a problem with anxiety. Sixteen years of having a monitor between my parent's room and my own and having to be awakened suddenly in the middle of the night to help my mom (and my dad the second year) pretty much every night for about 10 of those years, really messed with my fight or flight center. Though not an anxious sort of human at all, it's been a strange experience. It can go away now! Yeah, it will take time. I am a patient woman, but man, I've been having a lot of pain and anxiety with my Extinction Burst. Again, it can go away now! LOL
So, I'm looking forward to coming back here and continuing this process, my road to health. For the amount of years I've been suffering and the many types of pain and problems I have, I know it will take time to see any true progress. But hearing 'a pain free day' from someone else is encouraging!!!
Lastly, I really still don't know how this website works, but I got an email that someone had written and came here. Sorry to have written so much about me, but it does help me to do so. *eek* I'm so happy for you that your day 3 was phenomenal! Yea!!!

 

[Hopevsheadaches]

Thank you for this post. I am so fearful, more on some days than others. I will rewatch this video over and over when I feel scared of the pain. Thank you for this PAGE!

 

[ShiningViolet]

I'm new on this road to health through learning to stop being afraid of my pain. I was very interested in the video of the woman who had neck pain while driving. I often wonder though, when it is said that there is "no structural problem" so there is really nothing wrong with the body, etc. I accept that many of my aches and pains are not due to broken bones, let's say. But if there is muscle spasm, it can be excruciating, and the muscle is like a rock. It can be helped sometimes with heat, or massage, or muscle relaxants. But I don't believe I can just "ignore" the pain and move it like normal, knowing I'm not hurting anything. Isn't is possible if I try to do that, I could possibly tear the muscle, or a ligament or something, around it? Appreciate your thoughts on this. I've not seen it mentioned anywhere!

 

[OK2try]

3-8-22. I’m Sold
I have been struggling with persistent pain in my lower back & hips for 6 months now. It comes and goes, it moves from hip to hip, but it’s always there.
This morning when I got out of bed it was so bad in my left hip that I could walk only by partially supporting my weight on various pieces of furniture. Usually it’s at its worst at that time of day, although not always this bad. Typically I put a heat pack on it and by the time the pack has cooled, I can go about my planned activity.
Today my planned activity was a 30-minute easy run. After my heat pack, twice, and even some ibuprophen, I still couldn’t put weight on my left leg without support. No way could I run on it!
But I had just this morning read “Day 4” of the Pain Recovery Program, in which Alan describes a similar situation for himself with pain on his daily walks.
I decided to do as he did. I’d take my 30 minutes as a walk, not a run, and use my cane to do so. Whereas ordinarily I’d spend the time fretting about what that meant for my return-to-running schedule, my race schedule for the year, my whole life as an athlete, I focused on a different outcome: just to enjoy the walk. I immersed my senses in the natural beauty surrounding me and my mind in his positive affirmations, plus a few: I’m strong and powerful, filled with light; I’m a formidable athlete; I’ll be ok. Since a lot of the fear and anger that I habitually stuff relate to the world situation, I added some affirmations around them: The world will be ok; it’s filled with powerful forces for good, and people filled with light.
By the time I had walked 20 minutes, I was carrying my cane; by the time I got to the house, my hips were swinging freely. I ate some breakfast and still felt so good that I put my coat back on and went out and did my run, fully enjoying every step.

 

[riv44]

Is Walt still here? It is 2022 now- I haven't been active here in a long time, but returned a week ago because of a relapse. Getting older has revealed some physical problems that were activated by mind-body problems in my youth. (To put it more frankly, my mother had cancer for 15 years, and I developed an eating disorder in my 20s, as a mind-body response to grief and anger.) Decades later I have gastritis and esophagitis that sometimes- not always (big TMS clue) cause painful symptoms. I need a new physical workup but am also fearful of my annual physical. I have had the same doctor for 25 years, so it's not impersonal, but I feel when bloodwork is done and it suggests problems developing- I feel that I have failed. I am 3 inches shorter and 10 pounds heavier than I used to be, and as a woman in a body-shaming culture, body dysmorphia reigns.
I might get some new MRI images and bring them to Dr Martinez in Boston- a Sarno trained spine specialist.

 

[riv44]

i dont have IBS but i had interstitial cystitis (now in remission) but i was always told to eat a bland diet because acidic foods would harm the inflamed bladder lining. I never really tried the diet other than a few half hearted attempts. I occasionally took special antacids with foods just in case, but they never worked. part of me thinks that because i never feared the acidic food, i never developed the "these foods kill my bladder" symptom. I always ate and drank whatever i wanted because early on, i realized it didnt matter what i did. i imagine if i psyched myself out about the "IC diet" i might have become food sensitive.

Did you ever get told to do the Low Fodmap diet? That drove me nuts. Not only was there something wrong with me, there was something wrong with food! A fine pickle!

 

[nbycina]

Hi all, I grew up as a workaholic kid, then adult. I had cancer 7 years ago with 32 rounds of radiation and 2 rounds of chemo. I thought my pain (similar to peripheral neuropathy) was as a result of treatment. Seems like that was only part of the issue. During the pandemic, I was forced to stay home with my anxious husband and not go to work - I had a panic attack. Last time I had one I was in a very strenuous MBA program while working. I'm on THC/CBD 1:20 which helps a lot with anxiety. Dr. Sarno's book was eye-opening. As an LCSW myself, I should have known more about this. Guess it was too close too home.

 

[1speechpick]

Fear is the center of the issue for me. I could make so much progress if I could manage the fear aspect.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

. I could make so much progress if I could manage the fear aspect.

In fact, that is the second thing you must do, right after reading The Divided Mind (also my favorite book by Dr Sarno, and his last).

The second book that saved my life, and the lives of countless others over many decades, is Hope and Help For Your Nerves, by Claire Weekes. It's all about fear and anxiety.

It's true that you can't effectively do this work if you don't also address your anxiety.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

The other thing you need to know is that what Dr Sarno called TMS is actually a primitive brain mechanism that was designed to send us into fight-or-flight mode as a means of survival in the primitive world. I can't tell you that it was well-designed. It just evolved, and this is what we've got.

The problem is that this mechanism evolved millenia ago, and I guess it worked pretty well to cope with the few simple dangers of the primitive world, and it did so for tens of thousands of years and humans survived and thrived, right?

However, it works for absolute shit in the modern world, which has been a tiny fraction of human development. In our world, we are constantly bombarded with stressors, and we live many decades longer than our ancestors, and we learn to worry about the future before we are even a decade old.

There are a number of different ways this can manifest:

Whenever you stress out about some modern issue, your TMS brain worries that you'll be too distracted by your emotions to watch out for sabre-tooth tigers waiting to eat you, so it will repress your emotional response to the stress, and replace it with a symptom to create fear and anxiety so you stay on high alert for danger.

If you are currently in a dysfunctional domestic or work relationship, your nervous system will respond to each daily stress that you encounter as if you've just seen a tiger about to eat you, because it literally doesn't know the difference. This leads you to live in a constant state of fight or flight, which is physically unsustainable.

AND, if you suffered from any form of childhood trauma or adversity, your brain will have been repressing your natural response to that for many years, creating physical symptoms along with fear, anxiety, and and dysfunctional coping mechanisms to avoid receiving negative attention.

Doing this work requires making a commitment to overcome old patterns and embrace emotional vulnerability and curiosity instead of fear and repression. This is easier said than done, but the good news is that it absolutely can be done. And our wonderful community is here to provide the resources and support you will need to embark on this new path!

~Jan

 

[Aerobichonomo]

i dont have IBS but i had interstitial cystitis (now in remission) but i was always told to eat a bland diet because acidic foods would harm the inflamed bladder lining. I never really tried the diet other than a few half hearted attempts. I occasionally took special antacids with foods just in case, but they never worked. part of me thinks that because i never feared the acidic food, i never developed the "these foods kill my bladder" symptom. I always ate and drank whatever i wanted because early on, i realized it didnt matter what i did. i imagine if i psyched myself out about the "IC diet" i might have become food sensitive.

How are you today? Still in remission?

 

[iCrochet]

I’m done being afraid.

I felt this. It brought me to tears.

 

[butterfly86]

Just wow! watching the Video and seeing her get emotional made me tear up as i could relate very well with her and what she was feeling. I think when you have been in pain for so long you kinda feel like youll never be free from it. Or question how can it be so simple..
thankyou for this lesson looking forward to tomorows one.

 

[Zaylou]

Day 4: Breaking the Pain Cycle

My two-year-old niece is incredibly rambunctious. The day she learned how to walk, she learned how to run, and ever since then, she runs everywhere. She is the Forest Gump of toddlers.

But because her ambition exceeds her level of coordination, she falls often. And there’s a moment just after she falls, when she looks at you and waits to see how you react, before determining how she feels.

If you run over to her, concerned, worried, frantically asking if she’s okay, she’ll start crying...convinced that she must have taken quite a spill. If instead, you calmly say, “Hey, it looks like you took a little stumble,” she’s back up and running before you even finish your sentence.

The way you react will either reinforce a sense of danger or a sense of safety.

The Fear Behind the Pain

Pain is a danger signal. And in the case of neural pathway pain, the way we react determines whether this signal stays on or switches off. When we react to pain with fear, it reinforces a sense of danger, and the pain persists.

Fear is the fuel for the pain.

​

If you overcome your fear, it deactivates your danger signals and the pain stops. So in truth, this is not a pain problem you have, it’s a fear problem. The pain is just the consequence.

Of course, overcoming the fear of your pain is easier said than done. It's hard not to be afraid of something that is so inherently scary. But that’s the goal, and it’s one of the things we’re going to be working toward for the next few weeks.

A couple months ago, Howard Schubiner and I did a training in Michigan. We wanted to do a live demonstration with someone to show the relationship between pain and fear. A nurse practitioner named Felicia volunteered. Felicia had had chronic neck pain for 20 years, and for 20 years she’d interpreted that pain as dangerous. Over the course of several minutes, Felicia was able to eliminate her fear around the pain, and the pain went away.

Here’s a video of the live demo:

Assuming you have neural pathway pain, if you overcome you fear, the pain will disappear. It may not happen immediately, but it will eventually fade, as you've cut off its fuel source.

The Subtle Forms of Fear

What if you're not actually scared of your pain...what if it's more frustration or despair?

These feelings seem like they’re different than fear, but they’re actually under the same umbrella. Fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger, and it gives us the desire to escape. Frustration and despair lead to a desire to escape from our current situation...

Subtle as they may be – frustration and despair are forms of fear, and can keep our danger signals activated.

So when we talk about overcoming fear, we're including frustration, despair, anguish, irritation, annoyance, vexation, and anything else that communicates the message, "This is a bad thing that I want get away from."

Outcome Independence

In the earlier clip, Felicia was able to eliminate her fear around the pain by being outcome independent. Outcome independence means your definition of success isn't tied to a specific result.

I came upon outcome independence by accident. In 2004, I had chronic back pain, and I would take long walks every night.

I would constantly monitor my symptoms: How soon would the pain start? How quickly would it intensify? How bad was it when I got home?

If I had a “good” walk, I’d feel confident, hopeful, and good about myself. If I had a “bad” walk, I’d feel scared, frustrated, and despairing. This went on for two years.

Finally one day, I’d had enough. I was sick and tired of my mood, my outlook on life, and my feelings about the future being so dependent on the pain.

And I was done.

I changed my definition of success. A “good” walk was no longer one with less pain, it was one where I felt okay regardless of the pain. I took pride in my growing ability to determine my own mood. I celebrated the accomplishment of feeling good about myself even when the pain was bad. I broke free from the prison of fear.

And much to my surprise, within a couple months, my walks were pain-free. Without even knowing what I was doing, I eliminated the pain’s fuel source: fear.

Outcome independence is not something that comes easily. It’s hard to change deeply ingrained habits, and you’ll falter often. But with practice and discipline, with exposure and repetition, you can get there.

And it all starts with a single decision: I’m done being afraid.

​

I'm trying to change how i talk to myself. instead of "my wrist hurts" i think "My wrist is scared" or "my wrist feels like it's in danger. " then i check in to see why it might be scared and reassure it that it is safe and I'll take care of it.

 

[gthaler]

Albert Einstein said that the definition of genius is taking the complex and making it simple. This concept of overcoming fear to shed pain and strange symptoms is an example of consolidating a problem into a single goal. It is a simple, and perfect answer.

The reality, however, and the practice of shedding this fear, is where the complexity arises. Overcoming the fear of the pain is the foundation in which to open the door to deeper awareness of the layers of fears we have lurking in so many dark, secret places.

I see many posts about what to do, but less posts about how to go about achieving these goals. How do we achieve a new mind-set? Each person processes information in a unique manner, and finding the pattern of words that opens comprehension and that 'ohhh, I get it' moment can be a challenge.

Words have power, and this power resonates in the body. The word 'fear' or 'afraid' used in a sentence has an emotional response, even if barely recognize or felt. To say "I am done being afraid" sounds completely reasonable. But it carries the toxic word within the affirmation. To say something like "I am strong, and I am powerful, and I am radiating with energy and light .. " all those words are non-toxic. They do not awaken that quiver of negative energy.

For me, to say "I am not afraid" was also a mode of denial, which is already too prevalent. I do not wish to encourage more denial in my body. I am afraid. But ............ I am also strong and powerful and radiating with light ...

And when I recite that, when I shift my focus from the toxic words to the glowing words, the toxic words begin to diminish. I do not deny my fear. I let it wither from lack of attention.

Where we are today IS the result of every thought and every action we have ever taken. And each person, each beautiful soul, has the power to make new choices and take new actions. Follow your intuition. Listen deeply. Breathe even more deeply. Engage all your senses. Step into the embrace of Nature and be soothed.

I feel such gratitude for this site, and all the supportive members ... thank you all!

.... with Love and Compassion<3

Day 4: Breaking the Pain Cycle

My two-year-old niece is incredibly rambunctious. The day she learned how to walk, she learned how to run, and ever since then, she runs everywhere. She is the Forest Gump of toddlers.

But because her ambition exceeds her level of coordination, she falls often. And there’s a moment just after she falls, when she looks at you and waits to see how you react, before determining how she feels.

If you run over to her, concerned, worried, frantically asking if she’s okay, she’ll start crying...convinced that she must have taken quite a spill. If instead, you calmly say, “Hey, it looks like you took a little stumble,” she’s back up and running before you even finish your sentence.

The way you react will either reinforce a sense of danger or a sense of safety.

The Fear Behind the Pain

Pain is a danger signal. And in the case of neural pathway pain, the way we react determines whether this signal stays on or switches off. When we react to pain with fear, it reinforces a sense of danger, and the pain persists.

Fear is the fuel for the pain.

​

If you overcome your fear, it deactivates your danger signals and the pain stops. So in truth, this is not a pain problem you have, it’s a fear problem. The pain is just the consequence.

Of course, overcoming the fear of your pain is easier said than done. It's hard not to be afraid of something that is so inherently scary. But that’s the goal, and it’s one of the things we’re going to be working toward for the next few weeks.

A couple months ago, Howard Schubiner and I did a training in Michigan. We wanted to do a live demonstration with someone to show the relationship between pain and fear. A nurse practitioner named Felicia volunteered. Felicia had had chronic neck pain for 20 years, and for 20 years she’d interpreted that pain as dangerous. Over the course of several minutes, Felicia was able to eliminate her fear around the pain, and the pain went away.

Here’s a video of the live demo:

Assuming you have neural pathway pain, if you overcome you fear, the pain will disappear. It may not happen immediately, but it will eventually fade, as you've cut off its fuel source.

The Subtle Forms of Fear

What if you're not actually scared of your pain...what if it's more frustration or despair?

These feelings seem like they’re different than fear, but they’re actually under the same umbrella. Fear is a feeling induced by perceived danger, and it gives us the desire to escape. Frustration and despair lead to a desire to escape from our current situation...

Subtle as they may be – frustration and despair are forms of fear, and can keep our danger signals activated.

So when we talk about overcoming fear, we're including frustration, despair, anguish, irritation, annoyance, vexation, and anything else that communicates the message, "This is a bad thing that I want get away from."

Outcome Independence

In the earlier clip, Felicia was able to eliminate her fear around the pain by being outcome independent. Outcome independence means your definition of success isn't tied to a specific result.

I came upon outcome independence by accident. In 2004, I had chronic back pain, and I would take long walks every night.

I would constantly monitor my symptoms: How soon would the pain start? How quickly would it intensify? How bad was it when I got home?

If I had a “good” walk, I’d feel confident, hopeful, and good about myself. If I had a “bad” walk, I’d feel scared, frustrated, and despairing. This went on for two years.

Finally one day, I’d had enough. I was sick and tired of my mood, my outlook on life, and my feelings about the future being so dependent on the pain.

And I was done.

I changed my definition of success. A “good” walk was no longer one with less pain, it was one where I felt okay regardless of the pain. I took pride in my growing ability to determine my own mood. I celebrated the accomplishment of feeling good about myself even when the pain was bad. I broke free from the prison of fear.

And much to my surprise, within a couple months, my walks were pain-free. Without even knowing what I was doing, I eliminated the pain’s fuel source: fear.

Outcome independence is not something that comes easily. It’s hard to change deeply ingrained habits, and you’ll falter often. But with practice and discipline, with exposure and repetition, you can get there.

And it all starts with a single decision: I’m done being afraid.

​

Hi, I am new to this website and I just had a look at the part about breaking the pain cycle and this seems to be something that I’m struggling with very much because I’m afraid to do everything because of my reference points of pain being activated as a result of doing certain things that have caused me pain in the past so this is very hard to navigate and I really don’t know how to break the cycle. I prefer speaking to people over the phone. it’s hard for me to navigate certain technology. It’s a miracle. I found this and was able to actually read it on my phone in bed of course if anyone has suggestions or experience or reference please do be in touch. Thank you so much gabrielle my phone number is 917-297-1232. I really don’t care if I’m not supposed to put my phone number, but I did so we’ll see what happens. Godspeed to everyone struggling with TMS