Day 37 - How to do self care

J

jml19

Peer Supporter
Today's lesson talked about self care. I got to thinking about having "fun" and made a very very long list of all the fun things I did when I was growing up. There were at least 25 different activities. When I made my current list of fun things, I could only think of two: sewing and going out to eat with friends. The sewing is usually for somebody else and going out with friends is a group thing. I also like to read fiction and color, but never take the time to do either.

My husband and I raised four children who are all married now with babies of their own. I was a Sunday school teacher for kids, home-schooled our kids through high school, was a group support leader, team mom more than once, helper in the Scout troop, and on and on it goes. My life revolved around our kids and getting their needs met. While I LOVED being with them and raising them and everything I did was what I chose to do (nobody made me do it), I realize now that I rarely did anything fun for over 30 years just for myself. I am seriously out of practice and at this point and at 65 years old, I don't even know where to start.
 
Let your heart dream. Liberate your imagination. Is there anything from the list of fun things from the past that you can reclaim or reinvigorate?
 
You know, a week or so ago I was at our granddaughter's birthday party at the park. It got dark and most of the guests had gone home, but three of the little girls and I got on this 4-person teeter totter and those kids had that thing going so high I was bouncing up and down like a jumping jack. All I could do was laugh my head off because it was so fun (although I did worry a bit about my tailbone). Then my 3yo granddaughter and I went on the swings and I swang so high my feet touched the stars. That was truly the first time in so long that I had FUN and felt it inside. Those are not things I really want to do on a regular basis, but it is encouraging to know that there is still some "fun" emotions in myself waiting to be let out. Most of the other things on my long list were things I don't really enjoy doing anymore (like playing games and cards....I've gotten way too competitive in my older age and that kind of takes the fun out of those things). I used to enjoy running and sports, but I can't physically do those anymore. Years ago I joined a co-ed softball team and my eyes had gotten so bad that I couldn't see the doggone ball to catch it. I fell flat on my face running to first base, and then later when I was pitching, I sprained my hand catching the ball (should've used the hand with the glove!). That was the end of my softball career! I do need to discover things I like to do. Imagination is a good place to start.
 
Ah, bless you. I quite understand the diminishing appeal of the more physical activities. I swim and dance but only for leisure and the pleasure they bring. I wouldn't want to be heavily evolved in anything like that any more.

My niece vicariously thrills me with her tales of life overseas but again, I no longer possess such taste for adventure. Funny isn't it how we change, in a good way I hasten to add.

I hope you discover new pleasures and hobbies. Mostly I think being open to experience, as you were in the park, is the way to go.

Here's to imagination and healing.
 
jml19 said:
Most of the other things on my long list were things I don't really enjoy doing anymore (like playing games and cards....I've gotten way too competitive in my older age and that kind of takes the fun out of those things).
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Whenever I go to visit my son and grandkids, I always take a game for all of us to play together. If I don't, everyone just kind of ends up looking at some screen instead of interacting. I began to notice that the games were getting a little too competitive though. Then I discovered the world of cooperative games, where you only win if you work together. So last visit I took one of these (Mysterium, though there are others) and at first I could tell that no one thought it would be fun to work together. But once everyone got into it, it was a blast. As I was leaving they were inviting their friends over to play it (adults and children).

I, too, feel at a loss sometimes when thinking how to have fun. I've started painting, and that is mostly fun, as long as I don't let my ego get too involved in the outcome. Having fun is about letting go and enjoying the experience in the present moment without concern for outcomes. It's hard to find those things. Your post is a welcome reminder that we all need to play no matter our age.
 
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