Day 33

[aa3405]

Have you noticed any positive changes in your life since you have started this program?
I think the most important change that I have noticed is my awareness of how stress, negative self talk, insecurity, fear, personality traits such as perfectionism and goodism are affecting my body. I suffered greatly over my entire life with different physical issues that were attributed to stress that I put on myself. I am still not at the point where I am free of the negative self talk and insecurities or concern over what others think of me. I am grateful that I have met a very supportive and caring husband. I have learned through the program that self love and acceptance will help me with my TMS. I am still working on issues with my stomach when I get stressed. It is much better, but acts up almost 4-5 times a week. I know that meditation and daily journaling will help, but I have a lot of resistance. I think that I it is the uncomfortable emotions that come up that I am trying to avoid. I will work on incorporating more inner work into my week. I also appreciate the support from this forum. It really makes a difference to me.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I have had the same positive changes since learning about TMS and doing the Structural Education Program.
I understand and accept that pains can and often do come from repressed emotions, and mine went back to
childhood when my parents divorced when I was 7. Journaling led me to realize that I had been repressing
feelings of insecurity. I've come to learn that that is common for many people and for many reasons.
I've learned to live with it better. I've mainly learned that the only real security comes from faith in God.
And dogs' love. People? Some provide security, but it's more risky. Money? Not sure about that at all.
My best friend was also rich but he had lifelong back pain, probably from repressed emotions.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

I am still not at the point where I am free of the negative self talk and insecurities or concern over what others think of me.

Hi aa3405,
I hope you don't worry too much about these tendencies. They are deep in us, and relax over time. You are attending to them, which is wonderful. In my experience they don't cause TMS, as long as you see that they are the cause. You can look behind the curtain! "Oh, my stomach problem is trying to distract me from the the rage of my inner child, caused by my self-rejection. I get it."

That in itself was enough to undo the TMS for me, that understanding. Of course each person finds their own way. My stance is to see the suffering self-rejection causes to me, and connect it to the cause of TMS. This, then undoes the TMS.

Honestly, if I felt like my negative self talk was the cause of my TMS, and that it needed to stop, I would never have made it!

I think that I it is the uncomfortable emotions that come up that I am trying to avoid. I will work on incorporating more inner work into my week.

I think this is a good observation, based on my experience. Slowing down means we are more in touch with the painful stuff. I hope you are gentle with yourself around this. You are probably learning a myriad of new skills and new ways to see yourself. Of course, when we slow down we also have time for peace and beauty ---being with our goodness.

Congratulations in your work.

Andy B.