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Day 3

dusty67

Peer Supporter
Not much nerve leg or back pain today. Had a great workout in the pool this morning. Felt amazing! In much better spirits than yesterday. TMS seems to really be trying to fight back in the form of anxiety though. I cant take ANY conflict or emotional upset at the moment without it setting me into a panic/anxiety attack. I haven't had these for years!!!! Another thing that is strange is I am absolutely exhausted. I have been having to lie down and nap for the last 3 days. I slept almost 10 hours last night too! I feel really groggy and lightheaded. I have also developed some issues with my vision. Im assuming its TMS/anxiety related. Everything is blurry and its difficult to read. Even looking across the room I see black spots in my field of vision. Guess it could be non TMS related....Ill wait a few days and see if it clears up before panicking.
 
Hi dusty67,
I love what kind of witnessing you have, as the symptoms arise. Hanging in there seems easy for you. Go Go!
Andy B.
 
Hi AndyB its definitely not easy, in fact is the hardest mental struggle I think I've ever had in my life but I am pushing myself. Don't get me wrong...Im still having my moments of awful pain and meltdowns but Im fighting to pick myself up again after each one. This is really really hard, but I know that I can be pain free as I've had glimpses of it over these past couple weeks so Its really starting to sink in that it couldnt possibly be structural (as Dr's have told me) otherwise it wouldn't go away for days and come back in my other leg....or hip...or elbow....or foot....or stomache...herniated discs CANT cause that kind of pain. There is no logic in that! But still......that teeny tiny bit of doubt rears its head and I tell myself...Im only on day 4 of the program...just keep at it and you will get there! Thanks for your support.
 
Hi dusty67,
Let me re-phrase my comment earlier: You are making great progress despite having some setbacks, and that is because you are tapping into some very strong will. Watching your resolve, it looks easy from the outside, because you seem so steadfast. Keep up the good work.

The doubt will be there until it isn't. I personally would not make a huge deal out of it. It seems like you are using the right approach, doing the SEP, and using your best self to tackle the obstacles. You are seeing through the symptoms, you are seeing them try to play their tricks.

Did you check out Alan's program?
It has the evidence sheet idea... and lots more.

Andy B.
 
Hi AndyB Yes I did start Alan's program but switched to the SEP, thought I should finish that one first? I did take the evidence sheet idea from his program. I have a very long list that's growing as every day I try something new. This morning I ran once around my kitchen. It didnt hurt. Until 1/2 hour after. Then my nerves started acting up.
One part of my brain said "Uh Oh, you over did it and flared up your nerves again" then the logical part said "Wait a minute....if I had an injury my back would have hurt WHILE I was running...not 1/2 hour later" So now I don't feel too bad.....not great....but much better than I thought I would have after the first time running in a year!!! I love the way you put it "The doubt is there until it isnt" something about that is so inspiring....Cant wait for it to melt away completely. Now off to distract myself with something else....Thanks again.
 
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