day 26

[aa3405]

The question to ponder for today is
How is journaling working for you? What techniques do you find most effective? Do you think you are avoiding any specific technique or issue?

I have a huge block when it comes to journaling and meditating in general. I don't like the tightness and anxiety that I feel in my chest when I think about doing it. I tend to avoid it for weeks at a time. I looked back and I started the TMS structured program in October of 2013 and I still have not completed the program. I am grateful to have realized how many of my physical issues are TMS related. My plantars fascitiis resolved soon after starting the program. I still have GI issues that I know are related and I also think my insomnia is related. My foot pain acts up periodically and I try to remind myself that it TMS related. I hope my other issues resolve sooner than later if I continue to complete the program. I wake up every morning anxious and sad. I know the journaling will help decrease the pain I feel.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, aa3405. I resisted journaling when I began the SEP, but once I started writing about my anxieties, it began working for me.
I realized I had a much more traumatic childhood than I imagined. I was repressing anger and feelings of abandonment and insecurity
from my parents divorcing when I was seven years old. In journaling, I was able to better understand the reasons the divorced...
primarily financial, during the 1930s Great Depression. Steve Ozanich said I had a "perfect storm" of TMS. Journaling helped me to
forgive my parents and that led me to being rid of my severe back aching.

So I encourage you to bite the bullet and journal. Do it slowly, only 15 minutes a day if possible. Don't do it late at night or it might
keep you awake. Keep thinking positive about journaling, that it is one of the best TMS techniques in healing. I believe it is.

 

[aa3405]

Hi, aa3405. I resisted journaling when I began the SEP, but once I started writing about my anxieties, it began working for me.
I realized I had a much more traumatic childhood than I imagined. I was repressing anger and feelings of abandonment and insecurity
from my parents divorcing when I was seven years old. In journaling, I was able to better understand the reasons the divorced...
primarily financial, during the 1930s Great Depression. Steve Ozanich said I had a "perfect storm" of TMS. Journaling helped me to
forgive my parents and that led me to being rid of my severe back aching.

So I encourage you to bite the bullet and journal. Do it slowly, only 15 minutes a day if possible. Don't do it late at night or it might
keep you awake. Keep thinking positive about journaling, that it is one of the best TMS techniques in healing. I believe it is.

Thank you Walt for the encouragement. The support really helps. I'm sure it's a bit of my unconscious not wanting to look at the reasons behind my anxiety.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi aa3405

I did not have resistance to journaling. I have found journaling very helpful to allow what I am feeling out, onto the paper.

But I love Walt's suggestion to not do too much. You see your resistance and fear about it, so just give yourself a few minutes a day to start perhaps. Do it regularly but in small doses. Then there will probably emerge a natural desire to do it, like Walt found. We want to be seen and understood at the deeper levels, even in, perhaps especially in, our painful places. It takes courage and patience, and it brings a deep reward. You may also need counseling or coaching support, if even a little journaling seems like too much. Also, there can be a lot of progress on TMS without journaling. In the meantime, focus on the less deep practices like reading Sarno, using the 12 Daily reminders, reading success stories. You are not the first person I know who has huge fear of journaling. Be gentle with yourself and get the help you need.

You might find this response to my question regarding difficulty journaling for a client of mine interesting:

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/surface-approach-or-deeper-approach.7313/

Andy B.

 

[aa3405]

Thank you Andy. Your reply was very helpful. I am really trying to do as you say and at least just start writing something every day. I have been looking for counseling, but I am not sure what type would be good for me. Thanks again.