Day 26

Day 26 and my update. My issues: 2 years of back and hip pain, hip bursitis and rosacea. I am now on day 26 and I find the journaling hard. I'm sure I have tons of repressed emotions but I don't feel anything when I write and can't figure out what my triggers are. I decided to see a psychologist. I asked my Doctor if my back and hip could be tms and he said no-it was a herniated disc with sciatica per the Mri. He said the rosacea could be psych-somatic, so I could speak to a psychologist.

So I met with the psychologist 3 times and he stated I have been through a lot that he is surprised I'm not depressed. He gave me exercises to work on any anger issues. But again I felt nothing, so we had to practice until I could feel a physical reaction. After speaking with him I had a tension headache for 2 days and couldn't sleep. ( I have trouble sleeping most nights but this was wide awake can't sleep)

I'm still seeing my physio who says I have a lot less compression throughout my body, which I attribute to 25 days on the structured education program. As 2 years of previous physio therapy had no impact. I would say I have improved by 60-70 percent.

As for my rosacea, my husband thinks it is improving (most people don't notice it) but I have a hard time seeing the improvement. Some days I see improvement. So overall, I would say the improvement is 10 percent.

My hip bursitis is 90 percent better.

I will continue the program until the end but I think I will continue to see a psychologist as I'm having trouble figuring out my repressed emotions or anger. I have no shortage of Really crappy things that happened in my life, so I'm not sure why this is so hard.

Anyone else finding this journaling and figuring out their repressed issues difficult?

 

Hi, ss02. Looks to me that you need to discover repressed emotions causing your pain. The diagnoses of disc problems may be right, but Dr. Sarno says they often do not cause pain. If you feel that the psychologist can help you to discover those emotions, I'd say continue seeing him. I just wonder if he is just listening to you or contributing ideas on how to discover those emotions.

I hope you will be persistent in using a healing mantra, like: "I know my pains are not caused by anything structural. They are from my emotions."

Your subconscious has to believe you believe that 100 percent.

 

Hi ss02,

I am happy for your progress, and your recognition of your progress.

Exploring what you feel, the roots of your TMS, the actual reality of your turmoil down deep is really a long-term process. What I want you to recognize is that you are turning inward. This intention (and your practice of journaling, inquiring, working with assistance) is the main fuel which you have ignited. This urge to understand more will not die, but will gently burn over time, giving you insights, understanding. I am sure of this.

So I hope you recognize your beautiful, brave intention, and I want you to know that your wishes for your self-understanding are very significant. Our organism responds to this kind of prayer or desire. And it responds in the best way possible, even though we may not feel the results are "perfect." We might suffer, or be impatient. So be it. The inner movement toward understanding continues...

Andy B

 

Sound's like you're making great TMS strides, keep up the good work! Here's an article about sleep that might alay your concerns about "insomnia":

http://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-16964783 (The myth of the eight-hour sleep - BBC News)