Day 26

A

ashoo79

New Member
I spoke with both mom and dad last night. Its always my pleasure when I talk with them I feel mentally relieved after listening to their voices. Where I am right now I am all just because of them. The only thing I wish I can change in me is a trait of not able to say no to people and I know it came from my parents being goodist kinda perfectionist stressor worrier.
 
Hi ashoo.
It'so nice to see your generosity toward your parents. We all choose to either embrace our parents' qualities or reject them. And rejecting a characteristic does not imply rejecting them as people.
I believe there's a fine line between generosity and goodism. I like to think that I'm a generous person, and I'm in a 'helping' profession (which I'm proud of.) However, now that my daughter is in grad school, I'm very protective of my time after the work day ends, because I simply want to be home with my husband! I have no trouble saying no to things that will interfere with that time.
So it all comes down to boundaries. Choose the things that give you pleasure, and decline the rest. It takes some practice at first, but gets easier.
 
Andy trust me I want to cure myself as soon as I can . Yes no doubt I do not have any abusive or traumatic past and I do wonder sometimes then what is it. I realized my traits are pushing me down everyday yes my repressed emotions that I hide from my family friends husband are enough for me to cause me pain. but I still wonder that really is this severe pain really caused by our traits which are picture perfect people of this society. to whom people look forward to see as perfect people. is this what is harming us.
 
Hi, ashoo. I wish there was an easier way to heal your symptoms, but I strongly believe the magic pill is TMS, continuing to discover your repressed emotions and very importantly, believing 100 percent that your pain is not structural but emotional. Keep working in the SEProgram and believing.

Try not to even think about being a perfect person or expecting others to think that of you. Be as good as you can, which I am sure you are, and be happy that you are you, warts and all if you have any.

Try to live in the present and not the past or future. Here are two good quotes about that:

Joan Rivers: “Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, today is God’s gift, that’s why they call it the present.”

Oprah Winfrey: “Breathe. Let go. And remind yourself that this very moment is the only one you know you have for sure. Doing the best at this moment puts you in the best place for the next moment.”
 
Hi ashoo79,

I am not sure if you know these things, but I mention this in response to you.

Dr. Sarno: possibly not a perfect quote, but close: "To be perfect and good is enraging to the Inner Child."

Andy's story: 8 surgeons ready to cut, multiple diagnoses of severe plantar fasciitis, nerve entrapment, nerve damage, peripheral neuropathy. Didn't take one step without pain for over three years. Now I dance on hardwood floors, ski, hike. No problem.
I am not completely sure of the issues which caused my TMS, and I could never trace it to any childhood difficulties, other than the typical ways I felt not loved, like anyone does. I base the TMS for me on my personality, just as you describe.
but I still wonder that really is this severe pain really caused by our traits which are picture perfect people of this society. to whom people look forward to see as perfect people. is this what is harming us.
It doesn't take any more than that, believe me! There is incredible tension going on down there, severe suffering that does not want to be felt!

Andy B
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top