mum: Last night on phone spoke with the mother,conversation went well, i feel pressure to have to see her i guess, its a similar pattern, sometimes i haven't seen her for a while and i feel a bit of panic that i should before she dies etc. Its not like shes on her death bed or anything just in 70s and time is running out. The situation is tricky though, cant just always see her. dad: about 1.5 years ago me and dad spoke via email back and forth a few times, before that i haven't seen him for many many years , i tried to go over past and divorce, he sees no value in going over past issues, he seems to not be able to rationialize things very well even though he says hes fine with going over stuff - its really awkward to deal with people who aren't concious of themselves on deep levels. Seems to me like he has issues with divorce from my mum. The situation is pretty messed up i've not seen him in many many years. time is also running out but the situation is pretty much a stalemate. He thinks he done right by me, i dont think he did what is required of a dad to raise a child. Hes not interested much on my opinion on that, must think i dont understand or something. Age and experience must be his justification - i guess, or he just doesn't care or cant care or doesn't want to unsettle his current life set up. Its just a ridiculous situation. Makes me sad. Its not just simple like making contact, if people cant be rational like... 95% of the time what can you do right. current TMS symptoms = im great doing great been down the park kicking football today, things are gooooood.