What part of this treatment plan am I avoiding: returning to physical activity. I mean, I worked out the other day, but I still have a fear of the pain. I don't believe there is anything structurally wrong with me, but I'm afraid of the pain. I tried telling myself that the pain is as a result of my expectation of it; and not my body- my body is not a costume I wear; I am the one who wears my body. The pain has also shifted to the arch of my foot which was 'the original pain' the 'mother pain', the one that started 6 years ago and was my first manifestation of TMS pain. My knee is fine now; actually it became like my side leg, but that's getting better. Now that I'm dealing with the 'mother pain' I'm struggling with believing that it is TMS. I have been told for yeaaarrrrsss that it was my flat feet. And that's hard for me to un-learn. The left leg is now completely fine. Praise God. So there's progress.... except for this damn right arch. What am I still repressing? I heard today for the first time the term 'narcissistic rage' and that resonated with me. Self inflicted anger- not anger at anyone else. And also fear. Waves of fear that are extremely overwhelming, I choose not to deal with them. And possibly a lot of sadness and grief. I'm not sure where that comes from but just writing the word grief brings tears to my eyes.