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Day 23 Day 23

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by browndogisinthehouse, May 3, 2016.

  1. browndogisinthehouse

    browndogisinthehouse Peer Supporter

    Do you think you are avoiding any part of this treatment? What emotions or past events do you think you may be repressing

    Well I am mostly bedridden and housebound so I am going for physical therapy just so that I can at least b a little independent on my own. At the same time, after having gone through a year plus of Physiotherapy it is clear to me that it is no more than a band aid. So I am not sure if that can be called as an avoidance of the program. The exercises to help me feel a little better and also give strength to my hands so that I can open bottles, operate taps and doors.

    As of now, I have been unable to connect any particular event to the current set of symptoms. I have not seen any pain increase or decrease because of a emotional or a stressful event in the daily life so far. At the same time, I tried not to track the pain closely. Instead of focusing on pain, I am trying to become adept at mindfulness.

    I wonder if anyone can help me out in suggesting possible events that could have caused the pain. My life has been fairly straight forward at least at the surface :).

    I excel at academic in childhood partly due to the pressure from parents and the lack of money. I have journal about that multiple Times. I finally made my way to Silicon Valley and was a witness to the dot com bust., that made me very anxious but I never had any symptoms. I have journaled about that also. Then I got married and after a few years, I got sick with digestive issues followed by pain that was most probably TMS. It took me about 3 years to recover from that I nearly went bankrupt because of the divorce and inability to work. But I am not sure how I recover except with the passage of time the pain reduced and there was some alternative treatment that seem to help. It did not help of course this time

    Finally I made my way back to corporate life. I really like working and was involved in some innovative Technologies. My weekend typically used to be talking to people and trying out new ideas separate from the employer that I was working with. In a way, I was working more then an average 40 year old but at the same time I never had any problems with it. I never tried for any relationship after my divorce and I'm quiet peaceful on my own.

    My current symptoms started in January 2015. There was no precipitating emotional event before that. I had 3 rounds of viral fever every months before January 2015. On the emotional side, all I can think of is that there was some friction with the manager on a technical issues but it was nothing extraordinary. I have tried to look closely into that also

    This is all I can think of until now. Perhaps someone can suggest directions to investigate through journalling based on these inputs

    The current stressor is of course finances but now I am becoming fairly numb to that. Especially because I keep on telling myself through mindfulness at least let us deal with this present moment because I really cannot control anything now a days

    This is a fairly long post and if you have that until this point, thank you for your patience

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