Day 20 - If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?

[ScottForsyth]

SEP question: If you could change one thing about your life what would it be? What steps could you take to make this change?

I just moved out for the first time to a new city five days ago. I do not know anyone at all and I feel very lonely and anxious. It is very scary to live a place where you have no connections. If I could change one thing about my life right now, it would be to have some friends in this new city. Although, I hope this will change and I am going to be proactive in my search for new people to connect with. Luckily, in 6 months I will begin studying at a university college, but I can not live 6 months without meaningful social interactions.

With regards to what steps I could take? I think that getting a job would be very crucial to grow a social circle. I am only 19 years old, so I am basically searching for any kind of job. Furthermore, I am looking for events and sport teams I can join with the purpose of meeting new people. Another option is to do volunteer work, since I would both meet new people and get to help others.

(I am open to suggestions! If anyone on this forum have any ideas of how to meet people in a new location)

Thanks for reading and I wish you a good day! Also, I hope you are progressing in your TMS/PPD treatment!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Indeed, Isolation is one of the core human issues that causes severe emotional distress, so the sooner you do something to make contact with people, the better!

I think that all of your ideas are good ones. Volunteer work is certainly a good option, and there are SO many different things you can do. I'm a tax accountant, and I wanted to do something completely different when I got divorced and suddenly had lots of free time on my own, so I volunteered at my city animal shelter and I'm still there ten years later, now doing three different jobs. Check out the university where you will be studying - there might be opportunities to volunteer for all kinds of different activities there.

 

[ScottForsyth]

Thank you so much for your reply. You are right about how isolation can lead to severe emotional distress. I have never felt so distressed before in my life the first few days I had moved and I am certainly still dealing with it. Luckily I got a job now and have attended chess club (just to do something). Volunteering at a animal shelter actually sounds pretty interesting. That is certainly a good option for volunteer work!
I hope you are doing well and have a good day/evening

 

[LaineyVeganseed]

I can totally relate - I made a long-distance move for work years ago and it was terribly stressful on me (and of course I stuffed all those emotions down) until I moved back home a year later. Glad to hear you are starting to connect with people who enjoy an activity you enjoy as well (chess)! I like using Meetup.com to connect with groups in my area.

 

[ScottForsyth]

I can totally relate - I made a long-distance move for work years ago and it was terribly stressful on me (and of course I stuffed all those emotions down) until I moved back home a year later. Glad to hear you are starting to connect with people who enjoy an activity you enjoy as well (chess)! I like using Meetup.com to connect with groups in my area.

Thanks a lot for your advice! I am doing better here, but I am honestly conflicted about having moved away from my family. I think seeing your family 2x a year is a little sad for me. So I am still considering whether I should stay or not. May I ask you what made you move back?

 

[LaineyVeganseed]

May I ask you what made you move back?

Three reasons: I missed the change of seasons in Michigan where I’m from (I had moved to Texas for work), I was dating someone long distance who was still back in Michigan, and I missed my friends and family. I moved there to meet someone else’s needs (the office I took the job at) and I realized I needed to be where my needs would be met, which was back home. I hope that helps! Listen to your gut and your heart.