Day 20 - If you could change one thing about your life what would it be?

SEP question: If you could change one thing about your life what would it be? What steps could you take to make this change?

I just moved out for the first time to a new city five days ago. I do not know anyone at all and I feel very lonely and anxious. It is very scary to live a place where you have no connections. If I could change one thing about my life right now, it would be to have some friends in this new city. Although, I hope this will change and I am going to be proactive in my search for new people to connect with. Luckily, in 6 months I will begin studying at a university college, but I can not live 6 months without meaningful social interactions.

With regards to what steps I could take? I think that getting a job would be very crucial to grow a social circle. I am only 19 years old, so I am basically searching for any kind of job. Furthermore, I am looking for events and sport teams I can join with the purpose of meeting new people. Another option is to do volunteer work, since I would both meet new people and get to help others.

(I am open to suggestions! If anyone on this forum have any ideas of how to meet people in a new location)

Thanks for reading and I wish you a good day! Also, I hope you are progressing in your TMS/PPD treatment!

 

Indeed, Isolation is one of the core human issues that causes severe emotional distress, so the sooner you do something to make contact with people, the better!

I think that all of your ideas are good ones. Volunteer work is certainly a good option, and there are SO many different things you can do. I'm a tax accountant, and I wanted to do something completely different when I got divorced and suddenly had lots of free time on my own, so I volunteered at my city animal shelter and I'm still there ten years later, now doing three different jobs. Check out the university where you will be studying - there might be opportunities to volunteer for all kinds of different activities there.

 

Thank you so much for your reply. You are right about how isolation can lead to severe emotional distress. I have never felt so distressed before in my life the first few days I had moved and I am certainly still dealing with it. Luckily I got a job now and have attended chess club (just to do something). Volunteering at a animal shelter actually sounds pretty interesting. That is certainly a good option for volunteer work!
I hope you are doing well and have a good day/evening

 

I can totally relate - I made a long-distance move for work years ago and it was terribly stressful on me (and of course I stuffed all those emotions down) until I moved back home a year later. Glad to hear you are starting to connect with people who enjoy an activity you enjoy as well (chess)! I like using Meetup.com to connect with groups in my area.

 

Thanks a lot for your advice! I am doing better here, but I am honestly conflicted about having moved away from my family. I think seeing your family 2x a year is a little sad for me. So I am still considering whether I should stay or not. May I ask you what made you move back?

 

Three reasons: I missed the change of seasons in Michigan where I’m from (I had moved to Texas for work), I was dating someone long distance who was still back in Michigan, and I missed my friends and family. I moved there to meet someone else’s needs (the office I took the job at) and I realized I needed to be where my needs would be met, which was back home. I hope that helps! Listen to your gut and your heart. ❤️