Reading Kim Ruby's article today was a great reinforcement for me to remember that TMS really is emotionally caused. It made me think back to a lot of the pain bouts I've had over the past several years. From 2009-2014 I was a PhD student in Biology, an incredibly stressful position that is full of chances to feel inferior. Through that time I dealt with plenty of IBS (usually how I recognize stress affecting me), but also had a couple 3-4 month periods of terrible back pain. One came on very suddenly, as I've seen described a lot here, and the other more gradually started as I was getting ready to defend my thesis. Also during this time I had a few bouts of dizziness and TMJ, as well as plantar fasciitis for several months. It all really seems to fit the pattern, but I never would have thought that most of those could be emotionally cause. Of course, currently my symptoms are mostly anxiety, dizziness and heartburn/IBS, with lots of shifting aches and pains. I've had quite a bit of hypochondria over the past few months as well - thinking there was something wrong with my heart or my head or my ears. All of these have been shown not to be true at the doctor's office of course. But the article today reminded me that even though I really accept that these things are caused by emotions, I get hung up in the moment (when I have a bad dizzy spell or pain spurt) on thinking that I'll have a heart attack or that the doctors missed something. I think the "in the moment" acceptance is going to be the hardest part for me. So! Three things that make me feel sad: I am very sad to be away from my family and friends across the country. I am sad to not have the work routine and friends of my previous job. The colleagues I used to talk to every day of the year are suddenly occasional email buddies. I am sad that my dog seems so bored all of the time. It seems silly, but it just reinforces the fact that we haven't made friends in our new home yet. Three things that make me feel angry: I am angry that I have intense anxiety and other people seems to be able to deal with life changes just fine. I am angry that I have trouble and/or am scared to talk about plant science with people, even though its what I do. I'm afraid they'll call me out. I am angry that I've given so many years of my life to science and its taken me away from family. Much harder to come up with the angry things. Had to dig a bit for these. I'm usually a very passive person. Here's to healing!