• Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
  • Welcome to the new TMS Wiki server! Things aren't finished yet: email is not set up, so notification and password-reset emails don't go out, and new registrations are paused until email is installed. Details and updates are in this thread (click here). Locked out? Email tmswikisignups@gmail.com from the address where you receive TMS Wiki notifications.

Day 2 Day 2

StarStuff

Peer Supporter
I can’t believe how many expectations and requirements I’ve had for myself that I’ve either been conditioned with from when I was growing up or allowed myself to cultivate over the years. I knew of some things that affected me emotionally but this exercise made me realize to what extent it was doing that. I now know that I don’t allow myself to fully feel emotions. I feel anxious when I’m too angry, too sad, too happy or too excited. So I try really hard to not feel any of that. No wonder why I’ve been in so much pain over the years. The program commitment has also convinced me to start playing my piano again.
 
I started playing piano and I felt really tired afterward. My mind told me I overexerted myself but all I did was play a few notes with two fingers for twenty minutes. It doesn’t like when I defy it with something new that’s not part of being sick. It wants me to sit and scan and focus on sensations or be doing something to fix the sensations. My mind doesn’t want me engaged in anything else. I felt excited to play piano again so my mind is trying to suppress that emotion.
 
For me it was actually a bit difficult too to write about what makes me angry or sad, since my first thought was: What is even the difference between angryness and sadness..lol... after thinkikg for a while my thoughts started to flow and it was easy. To write down more than 10 things in each section. Oh wow...i guess it needs to come out.

I used to play the piano too. I hope you can enjoy playing again :-)
 
Back
Top