Thaxter
New Member
Today was considerably better for my right hand than yesterday. I laughed at the pain. I really just said "pffft" to it whenever it tried to cross my mind. It takes a certain strength to do that, because the pain also has its own will. But I want to show the pain in my right hand who has the upper hand.
I began to read. The Mind Body Prescription by Dr. Sarno last night. Something he said struck me deeply. He said that when he felt the symptoms of his migraine coming on (the "lights"), he sat down and tried to think of what was making him angry. Even though the fact that he couldn't think of anything that made him angry, the pain vanished, because he acknowledged that an emotion was behind it.
Part of the healing for me will be acknowledging that repressed, dangerous emotions are creating the symptoms which result in the diagnosis of TMS. Accepting the diagnosis means, then, acknowledging the emotions that cause the pain.
Emotions are terrifying to me. I try not to think about them. The reason I decided to do this structured program is because, if I do not make a commitment to uncovering what is eating at me, I will simply move on once I achieve even a partial remission of pain.
I am part of a 12-step group. I have a belief in a higher power, which helps me. Tonight at a meeting we read, "Burn into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house."
It felt as though this was meant for me. It's so simple. Whenever I feel terror about uncovering repressed emotions (cleaning house), I can simply ask God for help. And then expect that help will come. After all, peeling away the layers covering my emotions isn't going to kill me.
Incidentally, I in no way wish to sow discord by mentioning God, so if the word offends anyone, my apologies. This is a record of my healing, and that includes, for me, a spiritual component. I really hope to make prayer and trust in God a big part of my recovery program, as well as the sober, rational understanding of the scientific proof of Dr. Sarno's medical discoveries.
I still fear that the painful symptoms will return tomorrow, or the next day. There is a lot of fear associated with my work. I hope to uncover more of that anxiety in the days ahead.
I am grateful for this structured program and for this forum, and will continue to post updates.
Thaxter
I began to read. The Mind Body Prescription by Dr. Sarno last night. Something he said struck me deeply. He said that when he felt the symptoms of his migraine coming on (the "lights"), he sat down and tried to think of what was making him angry. Even though the fact that he couldn't think of anything that made him angry, the pain vanished, because he acknowledged that an emotion was behind it.
Part of the healing for me will be acknowledging that repressed, dangerous emotions are creating the symptoms which result in the diagnosis of TMS. Accepting the diagnosis means, then, acknowledging the emotions that cause the pain.
Emotions are terrifying to me. I try not to think about them. The reason I decided to do this structured program is because, if I do not make a commitment to uncovering what is eating at me, I will simply move on once I achieve even a partial remission of pain.
I am part of a 12-step group. I have a belief in a higher power, which helps me. Tonight at a meeting we read, "Burn into the consciousness of every man that he can get well regardless of anyone. The only condition is that he trust in God and clean house."
It felt as though this was meant for me. It's so simple. Whenever I feel terror about uncovering repressed emotions (cleaning house), I can simply ask God for help. And then expect that help will come. After all, peeling away the layers covering my emotions isn't going to kill me.
Incidentally, I in no way wish to sow discord by mentioning God, so if the word offends anyone, my apologies. This is a record of my healing, and that includes, for me, a spiritual component. I really hope to make prayer and trust in God a big part of my recovery program, as well as the sober, rational understanding of the scientific proof of Dr. Sarno's medical discoveries.
I still fear that the painful symptoms will return tomorrow, or the next day. There is a lot of fear associated with my work. I hope to uncover more of that anxiety in the days ahead.
I am grateful for this structured program and for this forum, and will continue to post updates.
Thaxter
