Day 19 day 19

Since starting this program have you done anything that makes you proud? Where does this sense of achievement come from?
I have realized that I am not happy with my job and I think several of my TMS symptoms stem from this. I feel helpless to change my situation. I feel that my identity is very much tied to my job. I always am told that I must be very smart and that I am successful for having the job that I have. My family is very proud of me for having the job that I have, so, I feel that it is very difficult to change things. I say this as my tms symptoms continue to persist. I am taking steps to change my job to one where I at least have more control over my hours. I do enjoy my job, but I am very tired by the end of the day. So, I feel that if I could at least work part time, then I would not be as stressed or anxious at work.
Over the past few weeks, I have explored moving my job to a new location. I feel proud of that step, because I tend to get locked into a way of life and not changing things even if it is not good for me. This time, my feeling of achievement, of looking for others jobs, is coming more from me trying to take care of myself versus trying to please or impress someone else. I hope I can actually go through with it. I also need to face taking responsibility for my decision even if it doesn't turn out the way I want. In that case I have to realize that I can change again. Nothing is permanent and I need to focus on taking care of myself.

 

I am on day 2. But I spent most of my career in Human Resources. I have seen miracles happen when people get out of one job and into something they love. You sound fairly young so I guess your parents' approval is important. But in the whole picture does it really matter. When you are in your 60's and looking back on your life.... wouldn't it be wonderful if you could carry the memories of a job you loved and were proud of. Just food for thought.

 

Nothing is permanent and I need to focus on taking care of myself.
I think you hit the nail on the head aa3405. I love how you are looking at all the options but putting the priority on focusing on taking care of yourself. From what you described, the job sounds like it has a lot of pressure, external and internal for you. TMS's favorite friend - Pressure. I found sometimes that just writing out all the other options available to me relieves the pressure so much that I don't really have to change the situation, just how I view it. That has been invaluable to me.

 

Hi. That's great advice. I will try to journal different options. I am doing the "spider technique" for my journal entry based on my job stress. I will incorporate positive aspects of my job and not just the negative ones that cause me stress and anxiety. I appreciate all the advice and support I receive on this site. Thank you.

 

I appreciate the support. You are right. My priority should be on what brings me joy. I am not good at asking for what I want and tend to accept things that are offered to me without really evaluating the offer. I think I don't feel worthy enough to express my needs. I am in a job where I know I am not getting paid as much as others and I have not been able to ask for a raise. It's ridiculous. I plan to leave this job soon and I hope I can have the strength to ask for more money and better hours at the new job.