Margot!!
Peer Supporter
Since starting this program have you done anything that makes you proud? Where does this sense of achievement come from?
I have done alot of really difficult things since starting this program. I am proud that I have kept pushing myself. I have looked at and worked through some really difficult emotions. I have faced my fear of embarrassment and judgment FYI... I didn't know these emotions were a problem for me until this program. I have cried in public at least 3 times now and worked through the embarrassment., MOST IMPORTANTLY--- I give myself more grace. I struggled with self-compassion because there was a part of me who didn't think I deserved anything good and they only way I knew how to get motivated was to be mean to myself. That is changing. I'm proud that I refused to lay down and give up my life to pain.
Personality traits- HI My name is Margot and I am a recovering control freak. I say recovering because it is a constant struggle to let others do what they do without worrying about them. Let them... that's hard. Its getting easier. I really felt responsible for the success of other people in my life for a long time, with out holding them accountable. I know I am an overachieving, people pleasing control freak
. I am a work in progress. Recently discovered that I set goals for myself and then beat myself up when I don't have the energy to complete the tasks. Last weekend, I was mentally making a list of things I wanted to do around the house. I do this almost every weekend. Half the time the list is manageable and half of the time I get some of it done. But this time I realized that I was unconsciously putting pressure on myself, literally calling myself a lazy ass for not accomplishing tasks. ..Reality check..... These are not tasks that NEED to be done, these are optional tasks, like organizing, deep cleaning. I have been unaware for years, saying that I set realistic goals. well, I DO set realistic goals sometimes, and then I also unconsciously set the bar too high. YES and... Personality traits exist until we don't need them anymore. People pleasing served a very specific function for me, staying safe in relationships. Overachieving existed because I never felt like I was good enough or I needed to be even better to make up for my perceived short comings. "I am broken but don't let anyone see how broken". Controlling everything meant I didn't have to trust anyone or be disappointed when I was let down. Personality traits exist for a reason and are molding by our life experiences, usually it's about survival.
the reading written by Dr. Sommers touched on some of this. "Often, people do not have an awareness of the emotional impact of the physical/work/family/relationship environment in which they live because they have learned to survive and thrive by disavowing the emotions I described above". Brilliant!!
If you could change one thing about your life what would it be? What steps could you take to make this change?
I want to be more active and have wonderful adventures. I'm learning to quiet my inner critic. In the past, I got stuck on all of the things I couldn't do and judged myself very harshly. I bought a bike for adventuring and I'm buying a stationary bike for inside... Winter is coming.... My goal is to work over the winter to strengthen my hips and legs so I can have grand adventures next spring and summer. Being the fit and fun 50 year old would look good on me I think
I believe I can do it.
I have done alot of really difficult things since starting this program. I am proud that I have kept pushing myself. I have looked at and worked through some really difficult emotions. I have faced my fear of embarrassment and judgment FYI... I didn't know these emotions were a problem for me until this program. I have cried in public at least 3 times now and worked through the embarrassment., MOST IMPORTANTLY--- I give myself more grace. I struggled with self-compassion because there was a part of me who didn't think I deserved anything good and they only way I knew how to get motivated was to be mean to myself. That is changing. I'm proud that I refused to lay down and give up my life to pain.
Personality traits- HI My name is Margot and I am a recovering control freak. I say recovering because it is a constant struggle to let others do what they do without worrying about them. Let them... that's hard. Its getting easier. I really felt responsible for the success of other people in my life for a long time, with out holding them accountable. I know I am an overachieving, people pleasing control freak
. I am a work in progress. Recently discovered that I set goals for myself and then beat myself up when I don't have the energy to complete the tasks. Last weekend, I was mentally making a list of things I wanted to do around the house. I do this almost every weekend. Half the time the list is manageable and half of the time I get some of it done. But this time I realized that I was unconsciously putting pressure on myself, literally calling myself a lazy ass for not accomplishing tasks. ..Reality check..... These are not tasks that NEED to be done, these are optional tasks, like organizing, deep cleaning. I have been unaware for years, saying that I set realistic goals. well, I DO set realistic goals sometimes, and then I also unconsciously set the bar too high. YES and... Personality traits exist until we don't need them anymore. People pleasing served a very specific function for me, staying safe in relationships. Overachieving existed because I never felt like I was good enough or I needed to be even better to make up for my perceived short comings. "I am broken but don't let anyone see how broken". Controlling everything meant I didn't have to trust anyone or be disappointed when I was let down. Personality traits exist for a reason and are molding by our life experiences, usually it's about survival. the reading written by Dr. Sommers touched on some of this. "Often, people do not have an awareness of the emotional impact of the physical/work/family/relationship environment in which they live because they have learned to survive and thrive by disavowing the emotions I described above". Brilliant!!
If you could change one thing about your life what would it be? What steps could you take to make this change?
I want to be more active and have wonderful adventures. I'm learning to quiet my inner critic. In the past, I got stuck on all of the things I couldn't do and judged myself very harshly. I bought a bike for adventuring and I'm buying a stationary bike for inside... Winter is coming.... My goal is to work over the winter to strengthen my hips and legs so I can have grand adventures next spring and summer. Being the fit and fun 50 year old would look good on me I think
I believe I can do it.