Day 16 Day 16 - my personality is changing but is it for the better?

I feel like I'm really getting in touch with my anger to the point where I react badly to my DH telling me anything. I'm grateful that I am not in a job situation where you always have to eat the shit sandwich, keep your head down & just do things.

So now I'm reacting to him giving me unwanted advice. I really can't handle it, apparently. I'm becoming more like my teenage self and not wanting to be told anything by anyone. I feel angry a lot more. It's all coming out.

I'm not sure this is a good thing, I'm just observing here.

 

Don't worry! I think it's part of the process. When I did the course certain days caused me to have strong reactions. I went through a huge amount of anger at others and then, myself. Despite journaling and meditating daily I still had swingeing moods and I thought my personality had changed for good. I thought I would have to move away from all my relatives and friends cos I had too much resentment and anger against them. But it was just part of the process and I feel much calmer and more myself again now. It is a rollercoaster - coming to terms with repressed emotions, pain, and having to integrate all of it as you go along. Be kind to yourself, accept that it will be a rocky road and that you can't make an omelette without cracking a few heads - err I mean eggs! Explain and share with your husband and hopefully he will understand and be supportive. If not - give him a journal and sit him in front of Day 1! I think we all have TMS tendencies - my husband certainly found that he did - despite being a pretty healthy outdoor worker, he has done 7 days of the course, journalled a fair bit and now meditates with me occasionally! He has not had a moment of back pain since...(most gardeners expect some back pain) I wish you well.

 

Hi, Ruth. Hecate gives some good encouragement. But she's got a husband who is supporting her in her TMS journey.

Tis the season for our personalities to get edgy. Holiday stresses. We'll soon have less to deal with in January and we can slow down and the anger will ease up. I find myself in more need of deep breathing and other calming techniques.

 

Oh my gosh, Ruth! I'm so glad you posted about this! I have the same experience... Its a bit shocking to find underneath this smiling goodist - is a raging you know what! I am still so clumsy with expressing my anger or putting up the boundaries with my partner. The TMS has a field day in our relationship. Yesterday I had so much pent up anger from pressure build up - I ended up going for a run and I don't run!!! ha-ha But I did feel better afterwards. I navigate the minefields of the pressure I put on myself along with the pressure put on by my partner... But slowly - I am learning how to drive this personality of mine!
Thanks Hecate for the heads up that its part of the process and will even out someday!

 

I hope this link goes through. It is TOTALLY me when I'm in angry girl mode. Still laughing!
http://media3.giphy.com/media/6xgslyYQCyLa8/giphy.gif

 

Thanks for a great smile today - the link worked - I needed it today. I'll remember this image next time I'm in rant-mode and maybe I won't take myself so seriously.

 

Hi, girls. Nowtimecoach, I'm glad running helped you out of your angry mode.
And that you're "still laughing." I don't run but I do laugh and it really helps me.

I love the clip, Mary Boz, of the little girl ranting at her dog.
The poor dog, it doesn't understand why she's so angry at him.
He probably did nothing bad.
I'm careful not to let my dog Annie think I'm angry at her about anything.
She loves being loved and giving love. It's the way to be.

 

oh walt… I don't think the little girl is yelling at the dog. She looks like she is just wondering what the heck the little girl is mad about. I still laugh every time I look at it. I have two dogs and they are so sensitive. Like me, they don't like anger.