New Program Day 14: Fostering Empowerment

[plum]

I'm mindful of the pain and even speak to the pain and some days that helps but it always comes back. What concerns me as that after numerous doctors, specialist, xrays, mri's and on and on..... is that there is still something physically wrong with me that no one has found. If I accept that I have TMS (which I think and want believe I do) am I ignoring something serious that needs to be addressed? I have debilitating facial pain on one side that leads to neck issues, teeth issues. It never leaves me when I am awake but doesn't bother me when I sleep. I want to believe in TMS but I am having trouble getting there. Really seeking support with this

This is exactly what I had. My good ole family doctor finally...finally recognised it as trigeminal neuralgia type 2 or atypical. It is misunderstood and commonly missed because people do not realise there is this second type which is characterised by unrelenting pain. The classic form typically has horrific attacks and then passes. This happens with type 2 as well but is not the main feature.

I learned a lot from a book called 'Striking Back' which is all about the many kinds of face pain. Armed with this information and some low dose meds I was able to come back to TMS healing and make good progress.

Please read My Story and see if any of it resonates.

(I'm sorry I didn't catch your earlier posts. My 90 year old mum-in-law had another fall and I've subsequently been away from the forum.)

 

[Activemom]

Maybe "Waiting for change" is the crux?
I remember my first attemps to run (after having endless years of backpain): it hurt, but I felt empowerment: I was so happy to dare to run. After three runs my pain shifted in another place - and again I was so happy - it was the proof of TMS.
But now I am stuck in my IBS symptoms. It looks for me much more difficult. Has anybody of you overcome IBS? I would be very grateful for any advice.

I had digestive issues about 20 years ago. I went to doctors, had all sorts of tests and tried different medicines and nothing helped. Then on the advice of a friend I started taking ginger capsules. For about a year or so, I took a ginger every meal I ate. I noticed improvement in my symptoms pretty fast. I completely healed from that issue (this was on and off for years) and haven't had any issues since. I always have ginger on hand now but very rarely take it.

 

[Kevin Barry]

Great post today Alan! Here’s my main struggle with this key concept towards healing… Yes, I am an anxious, worrisome, fearful person. I know that is what probably caused this TMS back pain that I have had for 8 months, and conditioning and the strengthening these pain pathways is probably why it persists.

However, I don’t FEAR it anymore, but it still never goes away or gets any better! I have been telling myself for 8 months that there is nothing to fear, that nothing is physically wrong, that I can’t hurt myself, that it is just TMS, etc. I force myself to do things that hurt: sitting, exercising, standing, and just plain surviving 24/7 with pain from any physical position or activity. So, why then after 8 months of no FEAR, am I still in pain? It says above that “You can’t control your pain, but you can control the stance you take toward it. And that’s the only control you need in order to recover.”. I have controlled my stance towards it. Why am I still not recovering? I am taking the “empowered stance” against the pain. I keep telling it to “go to hell”. I feel like I am giving the pain no power, but nothing changes. The pain is in my head 24/7 and I can’t get past it. Even when I get a few brief moments of relief, I try to ride the wave and reinforce with myself that this is proof that nothing is wrong, but it never lasts and the pain returns. If I force myself to do what causes the most pain (sitting), I just stay in pain- no matter how UNAFFRAID I am of sitting.

What am I missing?

I have no answers. I am new to this. I have a roller coaster ride of my own. But what you have done already gives me a lot of strength to continue on. Thanks

 

[LindenSwole]

Pre-TMS I was a hell of a weightlifter. I competed in the 77kg weight class locally and trained 4-5x per week. A couple of months after my symptoms started I stopped training entirely. Then, when i found Sarno last July I jumped head first in and that empowerment quickly got me back to doing what I love to do as often as I ever had pre-TMS. Now, I am stronger than I was before any of this stuff started.

Empowerment in ALL situations in where I need to start employing this technique to necessitate a permanent eradication of all symptoms. Mostly, it's the pressure of performing well in my job. For years I was so sure of myself and I walked around like hot shit because I performed so well. Then I stumbled and every sales call scared the hell out of me; I'm getting that swagger back right now.

 

[jimmerpro]

Just a brief reminder that you can substitute any TMS symptom for the word "pain" in using the approach above. I finally recovered from years of insomnia by using just this approach.

Hi Elen. How did you embrace insomnia or use empowerment at bedtime? Something you told your mind when you went to bed? I’m definitely having TMS related insomnia the last couple of months.
Thanks.

 

[Ellen]

Hi Elen. How did you embrace insomnia or use empowerment at bedtime? Something you told your mind when you went to bed? I’m definitely having TMS related insomnia the last couple of months.
Thanks.

Hi,

I spelled it out in this Success Story. I'm still sleeping well most nights. Very occasional trouble falling asleep, but I follow the steps outlined and it goes away.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-chronic-insomnia.16653/ (Recovery from Chronic Insomnia)

Oh, I should add that since writing this success story I have purchased and fallen in love with a weighted blanket. It feels so good to be under it that I look forward to going to bed, which I never did before. I don't know if it helps me sleep better, but it is a wonderful experience to lie under it.

Hope it's helpful.

 

[jimmerpro]

Hi,

I spelled it out in this Success Story. I'm still sleeping well most nights. Very occasional trouble falling asleep, but I follow the steps outlined and it goes away.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-chronic-insomnia.16653/ (Recovery from Chronic Insomnia)

Oh, I should add that since writing this success story I have purchased and fallen in love with a weighted blanket. It feels so good to be under it that I look forward to going to bed, which I never did before. I don't know if it helps me sleep better, but it is a wonderful experience to lie under it.

Hope it's helpful.

Thanks Ellen. Great Success Story. I can totally relate to much of it. Great tips! I'm not sure I could do a weighted blanket; I get so hot sometimes during the night. Good that you are enjoying it. Cheers!

 

[JuliaJulia]

Just a brief reminder that you can substitute any TMS symptom for the word "pain" in using the approach above. I finally recovered from years of insomnia by using just this approach.

Hello,

Can you please be specific about what you did for insomnia? I have been suffering since 2016. I’m healthy so I suspect it’s another TMS equivalent. I would love a few examples of what you did. Thanks for your post!!!!

 

[rbmunkin]

Hello,

Can you please be specific about what you did for insomnia? I have been suffering since 2016. I’m healthy so I suspect it’s another TMS equivalent. I would love a few examples of what you did. Thanks for your post!!!!

An age old solution is more exercise. But maybe you've tried that. Sometimes I take a half dose of Advil PM which helps a lot! I know these two aren't TMS related, but just thought from one insomniac to another I'd throw those out there.

 

[Ellen]

Hello,

Can you please be specific about what you did for insomnia? I have been suffering since 2016. I’m healthy so I suspect it’s another TMS equivalent. I would love a few examples of what you did. Thanks for your post!!!!

Here you go, dear.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-chronic-insomnia.16653/ (Recovery from Chronic Insomnia)

 

[JuliaJulia]

Here you go, dear.

http://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/recovery-from-chronic-insomnia.16653/ (Recovery from Chronic Insomnia)

Wow. Wow. Wow. This resonated with me so much. I too have had 20 years of strange inexplicable medical oddities. (Arm, shoulder, back, stomach, eye, menstrual insanity, etc.) and my latest which is 3 years of Ambien for my insomnia.

My father was a preacher and my mother was a shrinking violet in the face of any conflict and both my brother and myself were taught that anger is unacceptable and that we must always be kind to others no matter the cost to ourselves. We grew up with some pretty extreme racism as the only kids of color in the entire town and were only able to express what actually happened as of 2016 when my brother finally blew a gasket and wrote an article about it with my help as editor. It was very healing at least for me.

Your advice is comprehensive and specific and I will be reading it several times just to absorb it all. In particular I will stop thinking of myself as a recovering TMS person and just do whatever I feel like. I also find guided meditation helpful and use the app “headspace” to be more present.

I can’t thank you enough!!!!!! I’m off to go work out!

Julia

 

[TrustIt]

Maybe "Waiting for change" is the crux?
I remember my first attemps to run (after having endless years of backpain): it hurt, but I felt empowerment: I was so happy to dare to run. After three runs my pain shifted in another place - and again I was so happy - it was the proof of TMS.
But now I am stuck in my IBS symptoms. It looks for me much more difficult. Has anybody of you overcome IBS? I would be very grateful for any advice.

i have almost overcome all of my ibs symptoms. firmly convinced it is tms. my thoughts around this would terrify me and make me extremely anxious, the possibilities are endless of some horrible disease that i may be denying and might be getting worse. ugh! that was a horrible place for the mind to circle around in. it's crazy what tms can do...that is, how REAL it can make something happen in the body. one of the main things i discovered about the ibs, was that i was so apprehensive and frightened by pain/gas/back ache/bloating/pressure/ugh, that i was walking around with CONSTANT tension in my torso and lower abdomen - resistance was physical! as i trained myself to continuously RELAX all these muscles, while breathing the 5inhale/5hold/10exhale technique to stimulate the vagus nerve (gut/brain connection), i found the pain and everything else easing up. there is a place where we have to surrender and let whatever is hiding and trying to surface reveal itself in its own time and way instead of trying to control the process.

 

[kim marie]

For all of those who have had 24/7 pain and have more or less "conquered it".. how do you hold a sense of empowerment when you feel your symptoms as soon as you wake up? For me I find my empowerment grows throughout the day but come morning time I find it more difficult. Maybe this is something i willl learn in time? Thanks for replies!

I'm the same way I wake up the pain is there and then gets worse .its all over my neck SHOULDERS back LEGS BUTT AND FEET. Legs and feet CRUSHING BURNING PAIN. My neck and SHOULDERS deep stiff hard pain .my back down my spine can really hurt like its POPPED out of place .sence doing this program I've been telling my subconscious brain it's safe and thinking POSITIVE I've had days with less pain this is empowering when it hits me hard AGAIN I have to keep trying and hopefully never give..I do a lot of encouraging talk to my self first thing in the morning though the day I have to try a make this a habit. Today was bad day I'm laying with ice on my neck reading this .I was in tremendous fear and SCARED to DEATH of the pain.
IT made me panic but haven't done that for a few weeks so that's a PLUS don't want to go there again...THANKS FOR THIS AMAZING PROGRAM ☺

 

[kim marie]

Just a brief reminder that you can substitute any TMS symptom for the word "pain" in using the approach above. I finally recovered from years of insomnia by using just this approach.

HI Ellen i have insomnia too and unbearable chronic pain . how did you work on your insomnia

 

[kim marie]

i have almost overcome all of my ibs symptoms. firmly convinced it is tms. my thoughts around this would terrify me and make me extremely anxious, the possibilities are endless of some horrible disease that i may be denying and might be getting worse. ugh! that was a horrible place for the mind to circle around in. it's crazy what tms can do...that is, how REAL it can make something happen in the body. one of the main things i discovered about the ibs, was that i was so apprehensive and frightened by pain/gas/back ache/bloating/pressure/ugh, that i was walking around with CONSTANT tension in my torso and lower abdomen - resistance was physical! as i trained myself to continuously RELAX all these muscles, while breathing the 5inhale/5hold/10exhale technique to stimulate the vagus nerve (gut/brain connection), i found the pain and everything else easing up. there is a place where we have to surrender and let whatever is hiding and trying to surface reveal itself in its own time and way instead of trying to control the process.

hi i just tried relaxing my muscles with the breathing 5inhale 5hold 10exhale i thing this would really help me Thanks

 

[kim marie]

this weekend i rode 27 miles on my mountain bike. that's my biggest ride in years, including before my awful pudendal diagnosis, nevermind after. I would have never imagined i'd have the bravery to do that, but i did it anyway. I had some pain during, but usually it's the delayed pain that gets me. It takes about 24 hour for the pain to kick in, and in the back of my mind, i sorta expected it to come, but tried really hard not to think about it. 24 hours came and went, and i had no increased pain. Here i am 2 days later, and i dohave an uptick in pain, but i cant tell if it's a "flare" or my usual baseline. Either way, to do what i did with pudendal neuralgia is pretty much unheard of. I feel so much better knowing i'm capable of more than imagined, as long as i dont live in major fear after every activity that i "damaged" something.
So far, the increased activity without pain is the only part of mind/body techniques i've been able to employ with success. The rest of the day, when i'm lounging, or at work while sedentary, is where the pain is still pretty bad, so i have to figure out how to tack that.

wow 27 miles on a mountain bike thats huge :]

 

[Northwood]

For me, the empowerment comes from not giving in. I try not to alter my day, or change what I need to do for the day. I try to go through the day as if I am not in pain. Its not easy, to be sure. And there are days when its bad enough that self-care is my only option.

A quick example: One of the things I noticed a bit ago was that, I often hesitate when I perform an action I think might hurt (putting on pants, getting in the car). I was hesitating because I was trying to figure out how to do it without hurting. Invariably it would hurt more because I thought about it first. I've tried to stop doing that for the most part. I try not to do the mental calculus. Still hurts, but less, and I find it makes me feel better to just do things normally.

And yes, I agree mornings are the worst. That's when my inner bully likes to throw doubt my way or more pain. If I am going to doubt TMS, that's when it happens. What I find works for me is to get moving and get on with it.

I can relate to everything you're saying here. I do these mental calculations all day long. And mornings--with the whole day ahead--have this background stress more or less baked into them. Day 14's Lesson about Empowerment-getting the right "mindset" as I've heard it called elsewhere is my biggest challenge right now. Alan's description of literally walking into his heel pain and find a way to do that with a liberating spirit of empowerment--regardless of the outcome--is a skill I'm working on. Not there yet, but working on it by reading this stuff over and over, and trying it out in little ways. The day is full of opportunities. Who would have known that simply putting on one's pants could be a spiritual experience.

 

[lindyr]

Wow. Wow. Wow. This resonated with me so much. I too have had 20 years of strange inexplicable medical oddities. (Arm, shoulder, back, stomach, eye, menstrual insanity, etc.) and my latest which is 3 years of Ambien for my insomnia.

My father was a preacher and my mother was a shrinking violet in the face of any conflict and both my brother and myself were taught that anger is unacceptable and that we must always be kind to others no matter the cost to ourselves. We grew up with some pretty extreme racism as the only kids of color in the entire town and were only able to express what actually happened as of 2016 when my brother finally blew a gasket and wrote an article about it with my help as editor. It was very healing at least for me.

Your advice is comprehensive and specific and I will be reading it several times just to absorb it all. In particular I will stop thinking of myself as a recovering TMS person and just do whatever I feel like. I also find guided meditation helpful and use the app “headspace” to be more present.

I can’t thank you enough!!!!!! I’m off to go work out!

Julia

Hi Elen. How did you embrace insomnia or use empowerment at bedtime? Something you told your mind when you went to bed? I’m definitely having TMS related insomnia the last couple of months.
Thanks.

 

[lindyr]

First of all, I want to say that this is my first post and I know I have TMS. I started TMS programs after reading Sarno's book and started the programs shortly after, but had to stop/limit due to traveling to my sister's home as she entered hospice and I had to take care of her for 5 weeks (she's doing better now). Anyway, the first couple of weeks she woke me up several times a night and I always had a hard time going back to sleep (for hours) after being woken up due to insomnia and thought if I didn't get a good nights sleep I would feel lousy in the morning. The second night I told myself that I was strong and if I didn't get 8 hours or whatever that I would be fine. Anyway, I started going back to sleep sooner and even did well the next days with limited sleep.
Now to focus on my neck/shoulder/anxiety problems. I have started working out more and even doubled my weights at the gym (baby steps), after going on 18 years of pain. Like most everyone else, after surgeries and seeing every type of practitioner, I had had enough.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Anyway, the first couple of weeks she woke me up several times a night and I always had a hard time going back to sleep (for hours) after being woken up due to insomnia and thought if I didn't get a good nights sleep I would feel lousy in the morning. The second night I told myself that I was strong and if I didn't get 8 hours or whatever that I would be fine. Anyway, I started going back to sleep sooner and even did well the next days with limited sleep.

Awesome, @lindyr - this is great stuff, isn't it? All the best to you, and to your sister on whatever journey she is on now.