Day 12 Day 12

Day 12 assignment was writing about personality traits. I do have a dominating trait of anxiety and fear. I discovered this during counselling in 2005. Until that time, I assumed that this was just one of the peculiarities but I did not understand the negative effect that it was causing until 2005. After that there have been various instances when it has come up again and again with the most recent instance being in 2013. However, I have increasingly become numb. As I mentioned in other posts, my day usually begins with the fear of having to drag through yet another day of pain with no relief in sight. This is when I wake up .

Then I start doing mechanically a list of chores that I've written down for myself to do as best as possible despite the pain. That includes going through the TMS tasks and listening to patient success stories. By evening, things get a little better because I have gone past one more day, there will be about 9 hours of sleep which is usually pain-free because I'm drugged out and then am prepared once again for the early morning depression and then the self talk that I have to do

The main point is that even though I had anxiety and fear as an overbearing trait of my personality, I don't have it anymore because my time horizon is now just getting through the day. So I wonder any of these traits can be the perpetuating factor for pain now click

 

It's good that you are overcoming anxiety and fear and are living in the present moment. Otherwise, anxiety and fear are two main causes of TMS pain.