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Day 12 MonteH: Three Strategies for Thinking Clean

D

Dee.1983

Peer Supporter
I would love to know other people thoughts on this topic, unfortunately the link at the bottom of the essay (link to discuss essay) no longer works.
The idea of positive thinking seems to go against what I am trying to achieve ( feeling my emotions) not to say I should or am now always miserable and negative. But on reflection I think I've always tried to be positive PMA - positive mental attitude was something I always used to say. Even when things were a bit shit I'd look for the silver lining - I guess because I couldn't bear to be a sad moaner, I spent months and months masking my symptoms and just carrying on because I though no one like a moaner!!
1. wouldn't it be nice if... that feels like where I was at the beginning, that grasping for results god wouldn't it be nice if I could just have my life back.
2. What if right now I did feel healthy - then I'd be doing all the things I used to do instead of sitting here on my own being miserable! It all just feels very counter intuitive to what I've learnt so far about MBS. I know not ever techniques works for everyone, however I'm wondering if I'm coming at this wrong.
Do other use this and find it helps ?
Also very oddly it was when I started a daily meditation and gratitude practice that my headaches started. I started in hope that it would help some of my other symptoms mainly the cricopharyngeal spasms.
 
I’ve read a variety of things Monte wrote. I also don’t resonate with making everything rosey -and I never thought that was truly what Monte was about. Distilled down, I understand his perspective as making decisions on where to place your mind. You have choices to follow a negative thinking path or you can choose to focus on things in the world and your life that are more positive. It doesn’t mean you can not have all your emotions, and it doesn’t mean you must fake happiness or positivity. eg. You love video games. There are thousands out there to play, but you notice all your favorites are super dystopian, or war, or zombie apocalypse related: very dark. You watch major news outlets that focus on negativity, death, wars..
or eg. You love video games so you collect ones about rainforest adventures, underwater life, world travels and culture. You watch local news that touches on world events but focuses on your area and includes stories of activism, positive community change and ways people can become involved in supporting their community.
It’s balance erring on “clean”big up the crud in your life that helps you focus on negativity surrounding you. It may also mean cleaning up your relationships: eg. You have a friend who blames everything and everyone else constantly. Their life is one big drama after another, they view life as a constant struggle. Think about the amount of time you spend in that mind zone and how it is helping you with your life? Perhaps lessening that time but increasing time spent eg. Playing your guitar, going to an art class, playing tennis with a team or walking your dog in nature might be more uplifting.
I see it as the chance to be exposed to a wider variety of emotions. Instead of constantly being exposed to depressing, angering, frustrating emotions that make me feel helpless most of the time, I want to balance that with being exposed to joyful and empowering emotions and feelings.
 
Gabor Mate had an interesting perspective on this. He wasn't a fan of the common idea of positive thinking because it frequently causes people to repress reality, and what causes TMS? Repression. There were studies done that showed people with illness who tried the think positive all the time approach actually had worse outcomes than those that allowed for the anger and frustration and saying this is bullsh*t that I'm dealing with this. Basically a middle ground of hoping for the best but allowing the messy middle.
 
Rusty Red said:
Gabor Mate had an interesting perspective on this. He wasn't a fan of the common idea of positive thinking because it frequently causes people to repress reality, and what causes TMS? Repression. There were studies done that showed people with illness who tried the think positive all the time approach actually had worse outcomes than those that allowed for the anger and frustration and saying this is bullsh*t that I'm dealing with this. Basically a middle ground of hoping for the best but allowing the messy middle.
Click to expand...
Gabor Mate, in my opinion, misunderstood the idea of positive thinking. It's not repressing the reality, it's concentrating on the positive. More on the positive, like Cactusflower mentioned. I read and watched him for years and paid great attention to what he said. He's not a happy person, yes...he's very insightful but ... not happy. I can tell. His last book, I could not finish, was rather dark. I don't know...dark vibes somehow. Yes, he is good in his profession and very perceptive compared to others but...not all that he wrote is accurate/helpful.

Just my opinion. Maybe others feel differently.
 
I saved this quote on my profile page years ago, because it explained the concept so well:

"There are many spiritual groups and hot selling items... that imply you must denounce all negative thoughts and allow only positive thoughts to enter your mind. These teachings warn that if you don't ward off negative emotions, you will draw negativity into your life. I'm all for positive thoughts, and on one hand, I believe you can manifest what you want in life by staying focused and upbeat, but to deny negative thoughts that are charged with emotion will only bring ruin. Change comes from truth. You must look at the truth, feel the feelings, or they will hold you hostage until you get brave enough to deal with them. I've seen too many teachers, teachings and products abuse this process by telling people to ignore all negative thoughts. That's called denial, not truth."
Dianne J. Moore, writer, journalist, blogger​
 
JanAtheCPA said:
I saved this quote on my profile page years ago, because it explained the concept so well:

"There are many spiritual groups and hot selling items... that imply you must denounce all negative thoughts and allow only positive thoughts to enter your mind. These teachings warn that if you don't ward off negative emotions, you will draw negativity into your life. I'm all for positive thoughts, and on one hand, I believe you can manifest what you want in life by staying focused and upbeat, but to deny negative thoughts that are charged with emotion will only bring ruin. Change comes from truth. You must look at the truth, feel the feelings, or they will hold you hostage until you get brave enough to deal with them. I've seen too many teachers, teachings and products abuse this process by telling people to ignore all negative thoughts. That's called denial, not truth."
Dianne J. Moore, writer, journalist, blogger​
Click to expand...
I love this.
 
Cactusflower said:
Here is a thread that contains a video of Monte who clarifies that thinking clean is not at all "thinking positive" but a mindset shift of where you place importance on things in your life and how to create balance. https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/tms-think-clean-the-transforming-theory-for-tms.4668/ (TMS "THINK CLEAN" -- The Transforming Theory for TMS)
Monte has also promoted journaling on this forum, and suggests it can help you get rid of that "big pain in your butt" :wideyed:
Click to expand...
That's really helpful - off on a worm hole on HoteH page now - he absolutely dose not suggest repressing your feelings, he advocates feeling your feelings - it makes much more sense after this video. As always thank you wonderful human.
 
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