if you havent done the program in a while, its the personality trait journal entry. im a perfectionist and was wondering if anyone had some insight on dealing with this.
ive got a lot of insecurity issues and work tirelessly and care about how i look. since starting this program ive tried to not care as much. im not sure if ive really had any success - im certainly looking more disheveld but still find myself being way critical of myself. i dont know, thats not really what my question is about though. its the next part.
I also try and do everything perfect in life. every choice I make has to be the most perfect well thought out choice. it puts so much pressure on me. and day to day tasks- why I walk across the street a certain way, why I drive a certain way, respond to people's texts in a certain manner, literally every single little thing I do has to be perfect.it's so much pressure to live up to. plus it's not always the most socially acceptable way, it's what I've concluded is technically the best way, so this can spur tension between myself and others in certain daily situations. I see the altercation coming, stress about it, and deal with it. I wonder how most people decide how they do those things. like, is it whatever brings them the most enjoyment? is there a better way to do everything I do instead of trying to be perfect all the time? i guess by trying to solve this issue it's me being perfect again. but i truly wonder, for example, when you walk through a big parking lot one end to the other, do you not think about what is the most direct route, while taking into consideration certain intersections to avoid that look hectic, and deciding where you might have to wait for cars, and how long is acceptable to wait versus at which point they should have to wait for you to cross, for example? i do everything like this. what do you think about? or lets say you plan to cross a stree lt where there is no crosswalk. ill always walk along the road in the direction im headed until half the road (if theres an island) or whole road clears and then cross. that way im making the most of my time instead of standing in one place waiting just to then walk along the road on the other side towards my destination, because thats less efficient. and it kinda irks me when im with people and they do it this way. but obviously they dont care so damn much about doing everything perfectly. do you guys have any insight into other ways to think about these meaningless tasks? fyi those are just examples, im like that for literally everything i do.
ive got a lot of insecurity issues and work tirelessly and care about how i look. since starting this program ive tried to not care as much. im not sure if ive really had any success - im certainly looking more disheveld but still find myself being way critical of myself. i dont know, thats not really what my question is about though. its the next part.
I also try and do everything perfect in life. every choice I make has to be the most perfect well thought out choice. it puts so much pressure on me. and day to day tasks- why I walk across the street a certain way, why I drive a certain way, respond to people's texts in a certain manner, literally every single little thing I do has to be perfect.it's so much pressure to live up to. plus it's not always the most socially acceptable way, it's what I've concluded is technically the best way, so this can spur tension between myself and others in certain daily situations. I see the altercation coming, stress about it, and deal with it. I wonder how most people decide how they do those things. like, is it whatever brings them the most enjoyment? is there a better way to do everything I do instead of trying to be perfect all the time? i guess by trying to solve this issue it's me being perfect again. but i truly wonder, for example, when you walk through a big parking lot one end to the other, do you not think about what is the most direct route, while taking into consideration certain intersections to avoid that look hectic, and deciding where you might have to wait for cars, and how long is acceptable to wait versus at which point they should have to wait for you to cross, for example? i do everything like this. what do you think about? or lets say you plan to cross a stree lt where there is no crosswalk. ill always walk along the road in the direction im headed until half the road (if theres an island) or whole road clears and then cross. that way im making the most of my time instead of standing in one place waiting just to then walk along the road on the other side towards my destination, because thats less efficient. and it kinda irks me when im with people and they do it this way. but obviously they dont care so damn much about doing everything perfectly. do you guys have any insight into other ways to think about these meaningless tasks? fyi those are just examples, im like that for literally everything i do.
