After my brother died my Mother did not want to be a Mother any more. She resented having to take care of her 4 and 6 year old daughters. She distanced herself from us. We were too much trouble. We were a bother. She stayed distant the rest of our lives. We were never "good enough" to be pulled in closer. That little 4 year old girl has a lot more wailing, crying, and sobbing to do before the pain will completely let go.