Day 11, getting crazy up in here

[Marian]

Day 11 I found myself smack up against a traumatic event that I have never dealt with emotionally and that I couldn't feel. So I began to look at isolated snapshots surrounding the event. I can't get at it directly yet, but am thinking this is a way to ease into it.

I'm also halfway through Steve O's book, which is beyond helpful. Also a little alarming because I'm so keyed up and suggestible right now that I hate hearing about new symptoms! I love his term "tensionalgia."

I'm noticing a great increase in conscious anxiety, whereas normally I don't think of myself as being anxious.

My RSI pain is swinging wildly—disappearing then getting more extreme.

Last night I learned that by using a meditation technique, I can get it to back off. That was huge. It took a couple of hours, but dammitall, I did it.

 

[Eric "Herbie" Watson]

Yes you did, Marion you're doing great. Remember this anxious feeling you're getting is your emotions arising to the surface so you can feel them without fear or criticism or judgement so just set and feel these feelings and then the anxiety will start to dissipate and also for a good pointer, learn some good relaxation tools such as meditations to go along with all your doing. You will be fine , Bless you.

 

[Marian]

Thank you Eric. Much appreciated. This is quite the unpredictable journey but I feel like I'm starting to get a handle on it. Some days more than others. I so appreciate your support.

I'm also noticing how my symptoms flare up right away whenever I feel stressed or anxious. Can't believe I never really noticed this in such a direct way before.