Day 10

[Y1958]

I still can't convince myself totally that my pain is TMS. I do have the move around pain, intensity when stressed, clear imaging etc so my logical brain knows its more likely TMS but my emotional brain or subconscious doesn't want to fully accept it yet hence why I still have pain. I seem to get pain when I feel I'm having a good few days and no stressors happening and that is what bothers me. The pain does subside eventually so another indicator that it is TMS but the part that I'm not stressed or I think I'm not yet I still suffer pain. That is the confusing part for me and I still fear the pain when it arises as it isn't structural pain but internal pain like kidney, abdominal , pelvic pain. Mostly always on my right side so I always go to appendicitis or gallbladder.

I've stopped googling symptoms and stopped my Facebook groups that deal with TMS pain and even gave this up for a few days but feel I need to see this thru as I'm only on day 10. I seem to always rehash the same issues, my childhood, my mother and my marital relationship with my journaling. My pain seemed to intensify once I retired which was 3 years ago but my marital issues happened way before that and so did my childhood. Maybe when I was working and raising kids I was too busy to think about my problems and now that I'm retired I have a lot more free time to dwell on my life and the choices I've made.

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

The pain does subside eventually so another indicator that it is TMS but the part that I'm not stressed or I think I'm not yet I still suffer pain. That is the confusing part for me and I still fear the pain when it arises as it isn't structural pain but internal pain like kidney, abdominal , pelvic pain. Mostly always on my right side so I always go to appendicitis or gallbladder.

I'm not really sure what you mean in terms of what the confusing part is? Are you able to confirm that? I'm keen to know in case I can help with your doubt. Also, I assume you've had your appendix/gallbladder checked and/or no doctor has pointed to that as the cause? Your evidence is quite strong

 

[Y1958]

I'm not really sure what you mean in terms of what the confusing part is? Are you able to confirm that? I'm keen to know in case I can help with your doubt. Also, I assume you've had your appendix/gallbladder checked and/or no doctor has pointed to that as the cause? Your evidence is quite strong

What I mean is I thought the pain appears when the body is stressed or a stressful event is happening. I feel like things are going well and I still get the pain even quite severe so I’m not sure why or what it’s trying to tell me if that makes sense to you. if the pain is still there when I feel my life is on track then how roll the pain ever go away?

 

[Adam Coloretti (coach)]

What I mean is I thought the pain appears when the body is stressed or a stressful event is happening. I feel like things are going well and I still get the pain even quite severe so I’m not sure why or what it’s trying to tell me if that makes sense to you. if the pain is still there when I feel my life is on track then how roll the pain ever go away?

I get you so conditioning is often a big part of the TMS equation also (in addition to emotional triggers) - so in my case sitting always used to cause pain, the conditioning was so strong that it used to hurt regardless of the emotional state I was in. That's one point, another is that there can be a delay effect when it comes to stress/emotions, that's very common and is often a reason why some experience symptoms on holiday (when they're more relaxed and away from work). The brain hunkers down in a time of stress because it has to, but then after the stressful period has subsided that's when the pain comes. Finally, often what's causing TMS is working at the subconscious level, so naturally you're not going to be aware of it. An example from my case is that I never accepted my own anger, but I wasn't even really aware of what I was doing. I felt the initial anger and my response was always to intellectualise it away and remain calm. But then the pain went crazy, I could have thought "hang on I'm not angry, why am I in so much pain"? But it was the repression and lack of acceptance that caused the symptoms.

I wouldn't get too bogged down in the exact explanation of what the brain is doing - I'd focus on my belief in the TMS diagnosis and reducing the fear around the symptoms first and foremost