day 10

Regarding the question of who do I hide my emotions from?
I hide my emotions from everyone. My kids, my grandchildren, my extended family, my friends, the people I work with. I even hide my emotions from myself. Of course, sometimes they do surface. When they do, it's usually to my 44 year old daughter or my 42 year old son. I hold the emotions in, but sometimes just have to let go. Usuallly they come out as sadness due to pain. I never or very rarely express anger as I don't really know if I'm having any anger. My easiest emotion is sadness and I always try to hide that too. Pathetic, yes?
I'm going to try to keep this in mind and not repress my emotions when I feel them. Good lesson number 10.

 

I'm guilty of hiding my emotions too, Carol! I put on a brave face, especially for friends and people who I want to impress. I don't want them to know that I'm suffering, that I'm in pain. I'm certain this results in a lot of repressed anger. As for my family, I hide my emotions so that they won't worry about me. The important thing for getting better is first to realize the things that make us sad and angry, the things we ignore all too often. I'm trying now to think psychologically. For so long, my conscious mind has been on my physical pain.

Go easier on yourself! I'm sure you're an excellent mother, grandmother, and wife. We are truly our worst critics.

- Matt

 

Thank you Matt. I also don't want my family to worry about me. I don't want my friends to think of me as a complainer. I've been repressing my anger for so long, it's hard to recognize it when it appears! I'm learning to think psychologically though. Trying very hard to identify what's bothering me when the pain hits. It's not easy as you know. I was just thinking, two steps forward one step back when I got your post. My leg hurts and I'm trying to figure out why. Thanks again for your support.
It definitely helps!