day 10

Hello,

10 days on the way..mostly noticing that the journaling is pretty tough
digging up a lot : but not really re-feeling it, feels more like a clinical observation so far
my main issue with this is that i know what fears me and frustrates me and also what did in the past
but not know what is should do with that?

started to walk around the block in my neighbourhood (small walk, but for me it is pretty far)
want to make this a new habbit , did it before but stopped because
I got so depressed about the pain and the worry about it , thought it just wasn't worth it
so last week : picked it up again, every otherday instead of every day
had two good walks, today was not so good, but will keep doing it anway i decided
noticed today i feared going for that walk ; but went anyway ; wich was a good thing
i did noticed in the last years that just adding something as a habbit in my week
can have the possibility from becoming a stressfull thing: to a normal thing
so hope that i can get to that..so far try the outcome independence attitude with the walks

still feeling doubtful about my footpain :
my other pains are so much clearer stressrelated : its coming and going etc
and i can see much more relation with how i feel etc
the foot not : only see a relation with walking en standing
because of that it so much harder to see that as tms
And the foot is absolutely the most important thing to me : my freedom
and life is totally the most effected by it

so no victory here but hard work in progress i guess

karina

 

You are making great progress. Keep working the program. The Mind knows "the foot is absolutely the most important thing to you" and Wiil continue to create doubt regarding that area. But you can do it. Keep educating yourself Ann working the program.

 

Hi, Karina. I hope you will walk every day, even if it is not a long one. It's good for the legs, the back, and the spirit. Keep journaling to discover the emotions causing your pain. Dr. Sarno's 12 Daily Reminders are a good way to convince yourself that your pain is not structural but emotional.


Herbie’s Extended Version of Dr. Sarno’s 12 DAILY REMINDERS

1. The pain is due to TMS. This is real pain or anxiety but it is caused by subconscious tensions and triggers, stressors and traits to your reactions and fears and also when at boiling point your conscious tension can and does also cause real pain.
2. The main reason for the pain is mild oxygen deprivation. This means that when you get in pain or anxiety then the blood is restricted from going to your lower back, for instance. The blood being restricted causes oxygen deprivation which causes the pain. Remember, where there is no oxygen then there is pain in the body. Also, the pain stays because of fear.
3. TMS is a harmless condition caused by my REPRESSED EMOTIONS so even though you think you can harm yourself from the years of pain you have felt and how you feel in general -- so far no reports have been heard from TMS healing knowledge causing damage to anyone, it only helps.
4. The principle emotion is your repressed ANGER -- this means under your consciousness lies something that happens automatically to everyone. TMSers have repressions that are stored because of our personality traits, traumas, stressors, fears, strain, etc... When these stored repressions build and build, then eventually they cause the brain to send pain into your body to keep you from having an emotional crises. The mind-body thinks it is helping you.
5. TMS exists to DISTRACT your attentions from the emotions, stressors, tensions and strains of your personality traits because if you can get distraction then you won’t have to be in emotional turmoil. When you don't face and feel your emotions and they get repressed because you didn't want to deal with something -- they are just adding up in this beaker, ready to pour over and create real pain and anxiety in your body.
6. Since my body is perfectly normal, there is nothing to fear. So in reality when I fear the pain or anxiety I just cause myself undo strain and tension adding to the beaker of pain. If I fear, then I feed the pain, If I fear, it’s impossible to recondition. Fear keeps the pain and anxiety alive in the body through focus.
7. Therefore, physical activity is harmless. If I want to work against the pain I could but it’s better to lose some of the pain so when I start my life over I have to be in pain trying to heal because facing the repressions and all the other activities that cause the pain and reversing my fear and focus to them, then I can heal.
8. I am resuming all normal physical activity. I don't fear moving anymore. I believe in my body’s ability to heal now. I can move as I want. I will not fear moving with a bent back anymore. I will also practice going out and acting normal again, not in fear of what pain might do to me.
9. The pain is unimportant and powerless. Its only power is how it is hidden -- its illusion, its fear.
10. I will keep my attention on the emotional issues. I will think about my emotions and feel my emotions throughout the day. I will not judge, criticize or fear my emotions. I will not run from my emotional issues but face every one of them. I will feel my emotions fully and cry if I need to. Then I will release the emotion and get my mind and thoughts back to my life and living in the present.
11. I am in control of all of this. This is how I recover.
12. I will be thinking PSYCHOLOGICALLY AT ALL TIMES. This means I will keep my thoughts on psychological issues like happiness, fear and anger -- traits and triggers, conditioning and journaling -- The science behind mind-body/TMS healing, etc.... This way I will not feed my thoughts to the body -- that is a trick of TMS. TMS will always try to get me to focus on the body caused by the pain until I break its show and flair. When I get my attention off physical symptoms and on to emotional issues and psychological issues then I will not feed the fear of the physical issues anymore, thus making the TMS of no pain effect on the body. This will in return, give us the cure and become pain-free.

 

thanks both!

 

Hi Karina,

This was the same for me, but the Sarno approach worked. You are doing very well, in my opinion. Keep questioning your fears and doubts, and gently continue to be "more active" than you were. I added just a few steps a day. Thanks for the report.

This is OK, I think. As you journal contemplate how the Inner Child might feel about the material you are reviewing. This is an education cure, so although feeling more is effective, it is also a cure based on "knowledge," which you are getting by contemplating the feelings that "might be there."

You are building steadfastness and strength. Try to do your work with gentleness and patience on all levels. Observe when you push yourself, and link this to symptoms.

Andy

 

Hi Andy,

It is really great to have this feetback and suport. without it the doubt would me taken over already i think.

because you dealt with the footpain i means a lot to hear you say it was the same.
the little walks are big thing ' and doubt after a 'bad one' are hard to overcome.
another issue are my orthodics..somehow they are an obstacle because i think they adding to discomfort in my foot. One year i tried to get without them but could not do it. these are custum made so the rightfoot orthodic is different. now try, as a sort of inbetween step switch for the walks over to 'over the counter' ones for higharches. just for the time being: So at least under the right+ left foot i get the same groundfeeling (hoping you get this?) my Idea with this to get less atention on my painful foot..then they are more the same.
But that will take time and also going tru soms doubts : Today got more pain after the walk ..then start to think' are these inlays doing that' ..'was this too far'? Etc etc
Can hardly remember what lfe was like with two painless feet! What a freedom..miss that so much.

Will continue with the writing too. And the Whole SEP ofcourse.

Thanks so much for taking the time to talk to totally strangers ! That is really special..
If i ever 'get on the good side of this' that would be great to do : Give it back ..i thank you for that
Greetings
Karina

 

Hi Karina. I had such severe foot pain for two years, that I wound up in a wheelchair and wondered if I'd ever walk normally again. I had numerous surgeons wanting to operate, but their "logic" seemed faulty to me. Thank goodness I didn't let them operate! I found this wiki, did the SEP, and am back to walking 4 miles/day and hiking as well.
So yes, foot pain can DEFINITELY be TMS!

 

Hi Gigi,

Thanks telling me this..i can use that!
Your story (read it) sounds amazing..makes me fear i have only half as much the strenght.

The footpain in terms of diagnosis is a mess. I asked if it was PF : No..then they told me neuroma ..but they where not sure (mri was blanc..also the ultrasound) the last footdoctor i saw told me my tendon had suffered because of injury and the fact that i have very high arches (he also said: People with high arches will mostly end up at some point with footpain) i said: Then why on one foot? He did not know. Note: This man is a specialist on footproblems.(another doctor did ultrasound: Said nothing to See)
Then: Tarsal tunnel..because i had nervepain. Etc.
No more nervepain now (had it for 1,5,year)but left with tendonpain it seems and that the doctors remark 'never be fixed..stays a weak tendon' bothers me now!
Still strugling with this mixed diagnosis thing and the fact that the words 'never better' are used : want (and must!) to put that behind me.
But it is hard as you know.
Your story gives me some hope on possibilties ! Thank u!
Karina

 

Hi Karina,
Here is my summary of foot diagnoses and treatments. I think, like Gigi, this will help you understand what successful stories Gigi and I have experienced. You are doing this as well.
http://www.tmspainrelief.com/wp-content/uploads/Andy-Bayliss-Abreviated-History-of-Foot-Pain.pdf
Andy B

 

I see the mixed diagnosis as very good news. Doctors "want" to give you an answer. You are desperate to " find" an answer. I find many times they just don't know.

90% of my back is fused. The Doctor diagnoses was very bleak. Plus I have foot and heel problems too. Like Gigi I walk 3 miles each day. I play many sports which I haven't for years. I do everything they told me I couldn't. You can too.

 

andy:

Cannot open the file on my Phone..try my laptop for that. Curious of the story..thanks!!

Stella:
You all are great help with all the doubt..thanks so much ! The day i walk 3 miles will be a dream come true

 

Hi Andy

I read your story. wich is very impressive! and hopefull.
My problem so far is : I am missing a piece of the puzzle (the tms puzzle) that is.
When I read your story have that same problem : reading about the doctors,, the pain, the diagnoses, the orthodics ..pain
your medical journey and then you've read Sarno..and then 4 months later you went on a hicking trip
I am completerly missing the part in between! I 've read the books (almost 3 now inc Steve O) and
sadly no miracle cure there but even if I was : how could you go from walking no steps (wheelstair) to
hicking and how did you do that. when i walk 1 kilometer now wich is huge for me : i feel it everywhere
the inactivtity of 4 years in every muscle that involves walking. so it hurts not only in my foot but more places
and frankky i do not think it is that strange.
so reading that brings on so much questions for me..it is hard not to "overload " you with them
will make a topic on the forum too : missing piece of puzzle. Read a lot of "do the work" but what exactly is that work??
because this is really a big deal for me. the part where you get that the mind-body connection is there
but then start with the more activity but i my case obviously no way i can do a long walk in a couple of weeks
so how to go about that?

greetings
Karina

 

Hi Karina,
My story was like a miracle for me. In essence, what made the first breakthrough happen, was really contemplating that I did have TMS. The "accept and believe you have TMS" thing. Here is a blog on it, in case you did not see it.
http://www.tmspainrelief.com/exploring-doubts-about-dr-sarnos-work/

Each person finds their own way in this exploration of how Dr. Sarno's method applies personally to you. If your catch is doubts, then I don't think they can be eliminated so much as "looked into." It is a huge help to witness the doubts, inquire into them, and with grace, they dissolve enough to have a completely different experience of your pain pattern. That happened to me twice in the beginning, which was huge. To have a completely different pain pattern than I was "conditioned to," even for a few minutes.

Also, you might consider that for me, I had 15 years looking inside myself when I got TMS. I already had vast experience exploring my feelings, and psychodynamics, and taught this to others. So, depending on your background, your inner work, the kind of journaling in the SEP or Unlearn Your Pain, is very needed for you. I don't know your background.

Finally, if you have done journaling/program like SEP and reading and inquiring into your moment-to-moment inner relationships and tension, and you're still not getting too far, consider getting therapy or coaching like I do for folks. Or give it another month or two, don't "watch the clock," and if you're still not getting significant relief, then get outside help. I am surprised by how many people come here, work for awhile, and give up, without ever getting on a plane to see a TMS doctor, nor get therapy or coaching... I guess it may be a matter of having the resources...

Good luck, and don't put expectations or times on things, as best you can. Just keep digging in with sincerity! The method works, and get help if you need it.

Andy B

 

Hi Andy,

Thanks for your reply.
In the time between my question to you and your answer to me : I already myself made the conclusion that i must try (yes: Bully myself that way maybe good) to be more patiënt.
The sep is giving already more direction, i was waiting on. So maybe more clearity is on the way. And time to let it all sink in Will help me.

The coaching/ therapist idea came to my mind already too. For now holding back on that : Saw too many doctors the last years. I know : That's not the same. Promised myself to do so this year if needed. Did it once in my Life..seeing a therapist..so: not against the idea..and have that possibility.

Somehow i do feel hopefull about the tms approach..wich is also remarkeble.
So must find a way to put it into practice.

Thank you Andy!

Karina

 

Patience is opposite to the typical "TMS" personality, which tends to "push." So this is a wonderful insight. This means it won't be so easy, probably, to be patient, and yet it is a deep growing process that is probably needed.