Day 10 - Progress/Doubts

I feel I've made some progress but often have that little voice pop in my mind briefly to question how pain can't be physical in nature. My pain is feet pain (13 years) but only when I stand on them. I'm thinking it's more of a conditioned response but can't seem to figure out why it started in the first place (no injury). I haven't been able to link a repressed emotion or stressful event to the onset of the pain.

We went shopping over the weekend and I did notice less anxiety going into the shopping. My overall pain seemed less during the shopping and my husband commented my attitude seemed better (I wasn't getting short due to the pain).

But then I go to the grocery store today and my pain hurt quite a bit more. I was telling myself the same things - 'The walking/standing don't have to be the cause of the pain, rather the IDEA that the walking and standing will cause pain is what is causing pain.' Also been trying to work on outcome independence. That is a REAL HARD one. It's hard not be on cloud nine when you it seems to be working but get a little sad when it seems to not be working. I dont' dwell on it or let it ruin the day but it does pop into my head.

I'd be lying if I said I don't still have some doubts as to if TMS is the cause of my pain versus something physical. Again, I'm not actively thinking that way but it will pop into my head from time to time. Especially when the pain seems more just shopping for a few moments.

 

That's OK - sometimes it's just a straw that breaks the camel's back.

 

You said the doubts pop in your head, but you don't stay with them, thats good! A little discussion with your mind that in 13 years no doc was able to say this is what is wrong, this is how we fix it and then have success might be something to spend time on each day, or when it does pop up. From what the docs have said there isn't anythingthe walking and standing CAN do to cause pain. "Doesn't have to cause pain" to allows for that little thought: "but it could". There isn't anything in your feet that is wrong, they are fine. That little doubt needs to be rooted out with the truth about your feet

Want you to believe too!
Lizzy

 

I also find that I have to convince myself that any pain or other TMS symptom that comes up is
100 percent psychological. It's one of the hardest thing to do in healing.

 

That is so true Walt! I have lots of little tms symptoms, and they aren't bad, so it is easy to allow them to distract me. I am getting better about remembering to ask myself what am I feeling, but honestly I am way out of touch with my feelings. We all are working on something.