Because my symptoms are not back and neck pain-related, as much as TMS makes sense to me, there is still a part of me that keeps saying “What if you don’t have TMS?” and “This is something different, what if you’re never going to get better?” My most burdensome syndrome is a debilitating brain fog/inability to think. My memory is basically shot, so I have a hard time retaining the information presented. And there’s a part of me that is always saying “You need to remember this for it to work.” So I definitely have a lot of cognitive dissonance going on. Journaling has been wonderful for me. When I choose a topic, often before I even start getting into it, within a sentence or two, I’m already crying. I’ve also been having some other realizations that develop from the journaling related to other memories and events, so there is connectivity. Before my symptoms started 4.5 years ago, and as a writer my whole life, I had always been a journaling enthusiast and very in touch with my feelings (or so I thought!).... then after my symptoms started I really shied away from writing and journaling. So it definitely feels good to be back into this. I think my struggle now is that when I’m done journaling, I feel like I need to continue to dwell on the emotions that came up (and the experience) to let them fully pass. It’s almost like I feel I must get over the emotions/experience right away... simply b/c I put them down on paper, I want them “gone.” However, I know that’s not the case, so I have even more cognitive dissonance and internal battles with myself around this. Would welcome any insight or suggestions on how to let myself “be” throughout this process.