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Day 10-Afraid of expressing emotions

Discussion in 'Structured Educational Program' started by Martha, Jan 23, 2019.

  1. Martha

    Martha Newcomer

    I still repress my emotions in front of my mother. As a child, she would yell at me when I cried or fought with my sisters or brother. Sometimes she would even physically abuse me. I mostly remember her slapping, grabbing/jerking, or spanking me. I think the worst damage was her somehow "making" me feel guilty and like I was bad. I just got used to keeping myself even emotionally when I'm around her...and most others...and to this day I struggle to express sadness and anger, even in front of my therapist and TMS doctor.
  2. Lizzy

    Lizzy Well known member

    I can relate to what you are saying about suppressing your emotions. My dad was verbally abusive. It was a no win situation with my emotions. When I expressed emotions, I was overreacting, but when I didn't express them, I was being insensitive and selfish. I learned that I was more vulnerable if I expressed emotions, as then he had ammunition, so I didn't express them. I'm better than I used to be at expressing them to my husband and a friend, but mostly I just want to keep them to myself.

    Journaling is a good way to start because you are safe. Shred it when you're done, or maybe burn it.

    Good luck!
  3. srton

    srton Well known member

    @Martha thank you for sharing that. I'm sure it isn't easy to type and post those thoughts and memories. How funny that expressing your feelings and emotions - things that you were once punished for - is the very thing that helps others here on the forum.
    My wish for the day is that we are all able to feel easy in our skin.
    all my best!!!!

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