Day 1

Hello everyone, day one of this program for me. Still haven't got diagnosed with Tms by a doctor, I'm scheduled to see Dr Schecter on sep 28 so there's some doubt to as to if I have Tms. I know one has to believe it 100% and i'm trying my best. I'm 40 years old, hurt my back initially when I was 25 picking up a heavy fish tank. Mri showed 5 mm disc herniation, was the worst 4 months of my life,pain was debilitating. Since then I had minor flare ups,especially when running and being overweight didn't help. Fast forward to this year.. Was working as a driver using my own truck,life was going really good for me,but I wanted to obtain a better paying job so I could get my own place. My gf at the time,who Id been with since october has 3 boys and asked me if I wanted to be with her that I had to be more responsible and show her that I was someone worthy of her possibly making a life with. I felt some pressure since I liked this girl and I obtained a new job as a delivery driver for amazon.com. I only worked one week for amazon, the workload and 12hour days made my back hurt by the end of day one. Ended up quitting and going back to my old job,but they no longer had my position so I had to go to a different location,where the people there were known to be mean and the job was more demanding. My back started hurting again,burning sensation and sore feeling. Ended up taking some time off,thinking my back would get better in a week or two,but it didnt. Went to a non surgical spine center that xrayd me and told me i have degenerative disc disease in L4-L5 and L5-S1. Did 34 treatments in 2 month span and didnt get any better,no improvement whatsoever. Started getting depressed and anxiety got really bad to the point that I no longer wanted to be here. Thought about suicide many of times, just didnt feel I had any hope in recovering. I finally stopped the treatments and went to see a chiropractor who looked at my xray n said that my discs were only slightly degenerated and that my problem was where the nerve comes out,that it was getting pinched. 1 month of manipulation and I seen no improvements. Picked up Dr sarnos book,started reading it and started to think that i'm creating all the symptoms in my back. If I had a structural problem, my pain would be more constant than not. I have days where the pain pretty much goes away. I have a history of depression and anxiety and I fit the characteristic trait of putting others before me. All this has been overwhelming,but have met a few people online who have given me a lot of support to start this program. Anyone out there who has any advice, I would greatly appreciate it. This is really overwhelming and sometimes feel like this is how im going to live the rest of my life,but then I see stories on here of all the people its helped and get encouraged to keep going and fight this to the end. Hope to get some advice from some of you on here

 

Hi Benny, and welcome to the forum! I'm glad you found us, because this is the place to get help and encouragement on the road to TMS recovery. There's no reason not to go for it. It can't hurt, and like everyone you'll meet here, at this point you have nothing to lose.

You've made a good start, you already found and decided to do the SEP (give yourself a big pat on the back!) and you recognize that anxiety and depression are part of the package. As you read more stories and posts here, and start participating and asking more questions, you'll figure out that those of us here are the ones who did not experience instant recovery after reading one book by Dr. Sarno. You'll find a lot of discussions about anxiety, and a fair amount about depression, so you are definitely not alone.

I have some tips, and perhaps others will chime in with theirs:

1. Don't push too hard. The SEP is designed to be done one day at a time, so that you don't get burned out.

2. If you feel like doing more, read some success stories on the wiki and on the SuccessStories subforum. Google "Thank You Dr. Sarno" for the inspiring stories and photos that were included in a custom book presented to Dr. Sarno upon his retirement a couple of years ago.

3. If you've finished your first book by Dr. Sarno, pick up something that is complementary to his work. If anxiety and panic attacks are a big problem for you, you'll definitely want to read Hope & Help For Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes (which was my second book and it helped me enormously). If you want to read what some people call "the encyclopedia of TMS" along with the story of someone who overcame crippling symptoms, read The Great Pain Deception by Steve Ozanich (who also posts on the forum). If you are inclined to be more spiritual, Walt Olesky and Eric Watson, frequent forum contributors, wrote "God Does Not Want You To Be in Pain". If you haven't read The Divided Mind, that's Dr. Sarno's most recent book, with an updated review of his theories in four chapters, followed by six chapters written by five MDs and a therapist who present complementary views of TMS, also referred to as MBS and PPD.

4. As you do the work, learn to recognize the constant negative messages you are giving yourself, and try to change those messages to ones of self-acceptance and self-love. This alone is very healing.

5. If you address this work with a real desire to change your mind about everything you thought you knew about your brain and your body, you won't be sorry.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

~Jan

 

Thank you Jan for your advice. I read healing back pain and today was my first day of the program. I'm a lil confused. The program doesn't say to journal on the first day.should I?

 

I forgot to add that I'm currently reading the great pain deception also. Anxiety and depression are something I suffer from so I'm going to look at the book u recommended

 

Nope, Day 1 is the intro, meant to be enjoyable enough that it doesn't scare too many people off. There are a LOT of people who really don't want to journal! I myself will put it off even when I know that I need a "tune-up" due to recurring symptoms.
There will be plenty of writing exercises soon enough

 

Ok. I'm just going to review the 12 daily reminders and meditate. Today was a long day with all the sitting I had to endure and being in pain didn't help. Thank u Jan

 

Benny, you mentioned last night about fearing what's coming with the TMS diagnosis, so when I saw this post today, I immediately thought of you:

 

Hi, Benny. Jan has it right, as does Colly. Believe in TMS and it will heal you.