Day 1

[GreggM]

I'm about 2 months into a diagnosis of Epididymitis and found that others had success with this program. I'm becoming more used to the idea that this has a psychological cause, or is at least made worse by psychological/emotional factors. When I first started having pain, I researched my symptoms online and came across many horror stories which made me seize up in fear, anxiety and depression.

Looking through the self-evaluation steps of the program, it's hard for me to distinguish between the old "pre-pain, careless, happy" me and the new "in pain, anxious, depressed, scared" me that I've become. Before, I definitely had fears of not being able to provide for my family before the pain happened, and I guess those are magnified immensely now. I wonder if anyone else faced the same thing when starting the program - that life was really pretty great before all this happened.

Also - I'm not 100% sure my pain is completely TMS and not structural/biological. I've started this course just-in-case and I figured it cannot hurt and can only help me deal with my anxiety, fear and depression. I wonder if that will impede my progress here.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi, Gregg. Before replying now, I will look up Doctor Google to learn what epididymitis is.
I'll get back to you in a few minutes.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

I just looked it up and learned the following from the Mayo Clinic (others not familiar with it who read your post may find it worth knowing):

Epididymitis is an inflammation of the coiled tube (epididymis) at the back of the testicle that stores and carries sperm. Males of any age can get epididymitis.

Epididymitis is most often caused by a bacterial infection, including sexually transmitted infections (STIs), such as gonorrhea or chlamydia. Sometimes, a testicle also may become inflamed — a condition called epididymo-orchitis.

Okay, so that's what a doctor says you have, caused by an infection. Did your doctor prescribe anything for it? If not, do get responsible medical advice.

In any case, what caused the infection or has made the symptom worse? (at least in your mind.) Maybe and I think very likely TMS caused the infection or at least the symptom attributed to it.

I urge you to go through the Structured Educational Program, free in the subform of this web site, and learn more about
TMS and its causes and cures, which most often come from journaling and discovering repressed emotions (often that go back to childhood) and/or a perfectionist and "goodist" personality, wanting everyone to like and approve of you. Most people with TMS pain have one or more of those three causes for it.

As for feeling better about life before your pain came, maybe and very likely that was because you were repressing anger or other emotions, even for years, about something(s) or some people.

Doing the SEP and believing 100 percent in TMS will not harm you and I believe can heal you. Meanwhile, I hope you can stop worrying. Yes, you are worried about providing for your family. But everyone is, whether they are in structural or emotional pain. We're living in a rough economic world. You have to have faith that you are going to heal and not only be healthy and happy again, but healthier and happier than you ever dreamed possible. That is an amazing benefit that comes from believing in the TMS Mindbody theory. I've added faith to my TMS healing, asking the Lord to heal me. I wrote a book about it with another TMS friend, Eric Watson, offering both techniques for TMS healing and including the faith element (although we do not insist on it and it is not a Religious Right book): God Does Not Want You to Be In Pain. Available in paperback and Kindle edition from
amazonsmile.com, whereby amazon books gives a small stipend to this web site.

You are going to heal. Believe it.

 

[GreggM]

Hi Walt, thank you so much for replying. Yes I did a round of antibiotic Doxycycline at the urologists direction, even though he saw no evidence of infection. There was no change with the antibiotics.

It's embarrassing to say but this all started in mid February, when two weeks into hernia surgery recovery I decided it was a good idea to resume marital affections with my wife, which didn't go so well. I believe I may have bruised or damaged the epididymis, which is still inflamed and a little swollen and painful to touch. Perhaps my anxiety and stress is slowing the healing process? Or perhaps TMS set in after the original injury healed? Also interestingly, the pain switches from the left to right side randomly. (Hernia surgery was on the right). I've read that this switching of the pain falls in line with TMS symptoms.

Also, I find it hard to be patient with just a little bit of SEP every day. Do other beginners struggle with that too? I find myself wanting to spend much of my day focusing on SEP - is it possible to overdo it and burn out by doing to much SEP?

I'm glad to hear I have nothing to lose and everything to gain by trying SEP. I'm not sure I'm ready to resume normal activities - out of fear that it is an injury which needs time to heal (I've done things to aggravate it and feels like a setback when I do that - the pain gets worse for a week or so).

Also I am interested in incorporating my faith into the healing process. I've not been good about relying on God to grant me peace during this time.

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Perhaps my anxiety and stress is slowing the healing process? Or perhaps TMS set in after the original injury healed? Also interestingly, the pain switches from the left to right side randomly. (Hernia surgery was on the right).

Hi GreggM,

This attachment of TMS symptoms to an injury or surgical site seems relatively common, so I think you are on to something there...but I am not a physician.

About doubts: it is best to eliminate them as best you can, but I think you can make some progress even with them. I say allow them, and allow them to diminish with more TMS improvements...don't hang on to your doubts. Question them.

Andy B.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Hi again, Gregg. Dr. Sarno says and I agree not to spend more than an hour a day even thinking
about TMS or doing the SEP. You may be too impatient to heal and could be putting pressure
on yourself to heal faster.

I'm glad you are open to faith helping in healing. We can find great comfort in knowing God,
from whatever faith or religion you follow, cares about us and wants to help us heal, so we can
do good works in His name. He may have given you TMS so you go in this direction. I think he
did for me.

I know what you mean about hernia surgery. I've had it twice, the second time was a double hernia.
My doctor said I was either pregnant or had the largest hernia he'd ever seen.
It was a painful recovery.

My hernias have come from lifting my dog or trying to restrain her. But I love her just the same.

 

[GreggM]

Hi GreggM,

This attachment of TMS symptoms to an injury or surgical site seems relatively common, so I think you are on to something there...but I am not a physician.

About doubts: it is best to eliminate them as best you can, but I think you can make some progress even with them. I say allow them, and allow them to diminish with more TMS improvements...don't hang on to your doubts. Question them.

Andy B.

Hi Andy, do you think a TMS doctor or therapist could help me determine if I have TMS? I'm in Boston, MA so I have access to a few practitioners here.

 

[GreggM]

Hi again, Gregg. Dr. Sarno says and I agree not to spend more than an hour a day even thinking
about TMS or doing the SEP. You may be too impatient to heal and could be putting pressure
on yourself to heal faster.

I'm glad you are open to faith helping in healing. We can find great comfort in knowing God,
from whatever faith or religion you follow, cares about us and wants to help us heal, so we can
do good works in His name. He may have given you TMS so you go in this direction. I think he
did for me.

I know what you mean about hernia surgery. I've had it twice, the second time was a double hernia.
My doctor said I was either pregnant or had the largest hernia he'd ever seen.
It was a painful recovery.

My hernias have come from lifting my dog or trying to restrain her. But I love her just the same.

Hi Walt, I received and read through many parts of your book over the weekend. I dog-eared many pages. About living and being happy in the present. Also the parts about preoccupation with the pain. I check in on my pain easily hundreds, maybe thousands of times per day.

I'm still struggling with whether or not I have TMS and will pick up where I left off with the SEP and Pain Free for Life program last week. But I wanted to ask you the same thing I asked Andy - do you think a TMS doctor or therapist could help me determine whether I have TMS?

 

[Andy Bayliss]

Hi GreggM,
Yes, I think you would be advised to seek medical confirmation, with a TMS trained physician. I did this, and it was a huge help to eliminate doubt, and put me "full speed ahead" on Sarno's work.
Andy B.

 

[Walt Oleksy (RIP 2021)]

Gregg, I'm glad you are finding some parts of my book with Eric Watson to read again.

I do wish you would get a medical check-up to learn if your pain is really structural.
If it is, maybe medical treatment will help. If the report is not structural, then you know
for certain it is from TMS.

Try not to monitor the pain so much each day. You need more positive distractions to
take your mind off of it.

Living in the present is very helpful, but if at times you can't, live in a positive, happy future.
Or think pack on the happiest times of your life. Just don't spend any time worrying in
the present or future.

 

[GreggM]

Hi GreggM,
Yes, I think you would be advised to seek medical confirmation, with a TMS trained physician. I did this, and it was a huge help to eliminate doubt, and put me "full speed ahead" on Sarno's work.
Andy B.

Thank you so much Andy, I will.

 

[GreggM]

Gregg, I'm glad you are finding some parts of my book with Eric Watson to read again.

I do wish you would get a medical check-up to learn if your pain is really structural.
If it is, maybe medical treatment will help. If the report is not structural, then you know
for certain it is from TMS.

Hi Walt, thank you for replying. I've met with three different urologists. One of them said "I don't know", another said try not to focus on it and wait as long as it takes, and another wants to keep trying antibiotics. Ultrasound came back clear. Wednesday I meet with my primary doc to go over some extensive blood work, and I'm hoping to get an MRI scheduled then. I feel like my issue could be a bruised/inflamed epididymis, or possibly infection, or perhaps TMS not allowing it to heal whether it's bruised and/or inflamed. The pain switches from side to side - no one has an explanation for that. And it's better at night when sleeping. A lot of couch rest makes the pain go down but seems to make it come back easier with less and less activity. I'm hoping to learn something on Wednesday.

 

[GreggM]

Try not to monitor the pain so much each day. You need more positive distractions to
take your mind off of it.

This has been a huge challenge. I literally sit around thinking about it all day (I work from home). It seems nearly every interest or hobby I had requires activity I'm not able to do. Soccer, mountain biking, even gardening. Today I ordered a balsa kit RC plane to assemble. I'm hoping that will help.