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Day 1

shmps

shmps

Peer Supporter
I have been in pain for last 11 months. It all started with a small stiffness in neck and then to pain in arms, traps, wrists, thumb, etc...and to such an extent now that its my second months f disability. I go to work and I type for just few minutes and I have burning pain in forearm and thumb. I thought I have RSI and pains in back due to weight lifting i did for 7 years and bad posture. Tried everything, orthopedic surgeon, trigger point injection, acupuncture, PT, chiropractor, trigger point massage etc..nothing helped. I started reading Dr. Sarno's book and my symptoms started reducing. More than the book, i personal feel i have lived in fear for last 20 years. AT age 17 i met a guy and after 6 years of relationship i got married to him. After 10 years of marriage i divorced him and then the following 4 years I was in court fighting against him. So basically all these 20 years I have trained my mind to live in fear and anxiety and above all I am angry for have lost my prime lifetime because of someone who was a bully and always intimidating me. After reading the book I just believed that i am such a good candidate for TMS. I didn't have any doubts, even if i had no pain symptom i still believe i have TMS. I lived in fear and anxiety which means now my primitive brain is used to living in it. I accept the syndrome and I know if others have cured so will I. I want to heal not only to be pain free and go back to work but also to live a healthy life where my brain is not trained to live in fear and anxiety.
 
Hi shmps,

So glad that you have joined us on the Forum. You have already become aware of so much and are accepting that you have TMS. You are on the right path. There is true healing to be found here. Just take it one day at a time and be extra kind to yourself along the way. Keep us posted on how you're doing, and feel free to ask questions or for support at any time. You are starting an incredible journey...
 
Hi, shemps. Ellen's advise is what I would give you. Work in the SEP program and take it one day at a time.
Laudisco posted today that she just completed the program and is a changed person. Her symptoms are gone
and she has a new personal self-discovery that is making her happier and healthier.

TMS knowledge and healing practices help us to overcome living in fear and anxiety.
It really is an incredible journey of knowing ourselves better.

The end of a close relationship like you had is bound to cause you TMS symptoms.
Its happened to me, and it's happening now to one of my best friends who is going through a divorce
from his wife after 25 years. It's an ugly one.

If you can possibly do it, both financially and emotionally, end the court battle. That only prolongs the anger
and anxiety. It would probably not be easy to forgive, so put that off if necessary. Just take some deep breaths
and tell yourself you're putting the unhappy past behind you. Think of him as a SOB, but then let him go out of
your thoughts and your life. The longer we hold on to anger and feelings of betrayal from someone we loved,
the more they win. You can win if you just let it all go and live in the present, not the past. Then your future
will be happier and healthier. Put on a new face of being positive and you could meet someone today or tomorrow
that will appreciate you. I do and I don't even know you.

Forgive me if my advice is off-track for you. It's just what I've done in betrayal of friendship or love, and
I opened myself up more to new relationships.
 
Thanks Walt for your personal feedback. I appreciate Ellen's and yours feedback.

I have forgotten what happened in the past with my ex, rather whenever the thought comes on how he continuously cheated and how i caught him red handed, i tell my self I am glad he is not in my life i deserve better. and my past experiences have made me wise. I am no longer angry at all times like i was when i separated. I don't feel for him any more than the fact that I am working with him on a project and project is "raising my child". My court cases are over. We are amicable enough to have a decent conversation regarding our kid when needed. All being said, i have not forgiven him. What he did he did consciously and has no remorse.

You will be surprised the physical symptoms of TMS showed up three years after divorce, when i had moved on and was staying happy without him. That is the time when i met a guy who is really nice and respectable. That is the time when i started living in present and not in the past. Its so weird that all the time when I was stressed, tensed, angry, unhappy, sad I didnt have physical and just when i started living healthier, happier, and above all POSITIVE the pain started.

I am so very sure that this is TMS. I can live breathe sleep and not doubt that cause for my pain is psychological. Even when the doctors and PT were telling me that the pain is from bad posture, weight lifting, etc etc...i somewhere deep down knew that my past was horrendous for me to bear and no doubt pain is a result of that. My only fears and doubts left are...HOW CAN JUST READING THE BOOK AND JOURNALING...something so simple cure a beastful pain...... Need more affirmations.
 
I am so very sure that this is TMS. I can live breathe sleep and not doubt that cause for my pain is psychological. Even when the doctors and PT were telling me that the pain is from bad posture, weight lifting, etc etc...i somewhere deep down knew that my past was horrendous for me to bear and no doubt pain is a result of that. My only fears and doubts left are...HOW CAN JUST READING THE BOOK AND JOURNALING...something so simple cure a beastful pain...... Need more affirmations.

Hi shmps,
Observing what you wrote, you seem quite clear about the reason for your pain. This is the greatest "root affirmation," and you already have it. This is the heart of the cure.

You have started to an incredible thing for yourself: finding the correct reason for your pain and stopping it. The SEP will take you gently through more and more support for this basic understanding. Your conviction is most of the cure already. Be patient and work the SEP.

Welcome.

Andy
 
Hi, shmps. I'm glad you believe in TMS causing your pain, and have attributed it to your divorce and ex-husband.
I think it would help you a lot now to try forgiving. That's probably very hard since you caught him cheating on you,
but after three years it seems to me a good time to move on. You've found a nice guy. Focus on that relationship
and forgive the previous one. If you keep hating your ex, he wins. If you forgive (even just mentally, without talking to
or writing him, you win.

If it helps, think how lucky you are to be out of that marriage and feel sorry for whoever he is with now.

A big step forward for me, in forgiving someone, was praying that the Lord would bring that person peace.
That was a way of "tossing the ball" to God and letting Him judge the person, instead of me judging them.

You won't really be out of your ex's life until you forgive him. That way he won't keep giving you TMS pain.

Easier said than done, I'm sure. But you can do it. Forgiving sets us free.
 
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