Hi. I have been on here before, have posted a few times, and have read MANY personal stories of pain, fear, and wonderful stories of hope and healing! I have decided to start the SEP program, mainly because I know that true healing can be found here, and so many of Alan Gordon's posts seem to hit home for me. I am working through Dr. Schubiner's Unlearn Your Pain book slowly. I have also read Dr. Sarno's book The Mindbody Prescription several months ago. At the time, I thought TMS was a possible diagnosis for me, but I was not ready to accept. Am I ready now? I'm probably not at the 100% yet...more like 95%. I have all of the people pleasing, goodist qualities that are often found in people with TMS. Since moving to northern VA almost 6 years ago, my stress has gradually increased. Last year it seems like the "perfect storm" brought everything to a head. I had just come off an extremely successful school year with my son--working with him many late hours to help him understand/complete his homework. I had worked my first year as a teacher's assistant (though I have no education in teaching)... I found this very stressful since my main responsibility was to help children who needed remediation help. I felt personally responsible for their success or failures. My husband was traveling a lot with work. The husband of a friend of mine passed away from cancer...really hit me hard. They also had two fairly young sons. Finally, I was diagnosed with basal cell cancer on my forehead...not good for someone who has always had major health anxiety.
My TMS started with this "perfect storm" of anxiety, which caused severe TMJ pain. I saw three different doctors. They couldn't explain what the swollen knots were in my neck. We thought for weeks they were swollen lymph nodes. Finally, a PT said they were large knots from my TMJ. I started having period of dizziness, light tingling in my hands/feet, blurry vision. All of my research online (BAD...I should have never researched online!!), lead me to fear MS. We have a friend with MS who is severely handicap and is often in pain. I was petrified. I went back to the doctor, was told I have anxiety and if I had MS, I would "only have pain in my right side." Well, guess what...within a week or two...I had pain in my right arm and leg! Within this time, I had also had a brain MRI after going to the ER from a reaction to the anxiety meds. With all of my symptoms and now an MRI that showed lesions...I was told I probably had MS. My anxiety went off the richter scale. In the weeks and months ahead, I had several tests and saw two different neurologists. All of the tests came back negative for MS, and one neuro said that I do not have MS. The other said...I might. All I had to hear was "might" and I was consumed with fear. MS is very difficult to diagnose, and unfortunately brain lesions are a main indicator.
I lived in constant fear until Feb/March of this year when I finally started taking a couple of anxiety meds that I didn't have a reaction to. I started to feel a little of my old self back. At this point all of my symptoms were gone except pain in my upper right calf. Ironically, I had knee surgery as a teen on my right knee...this kind of goes along with how Dr. Sarno says the body knows where to create the pain (a familiar place).
As of today, I still have this pain on a daily basis. I say I believe 95% in this diagnosis, but I know deep down, I am hoping and praying that my appt at the end of Sept with a MS specialist will put my fears of MS to rest. I feel so strongly about this TMS, that I don't want to wait another day to put off healing. I would love nothing more than to go to that appt in Sept and say I am symptom free!
My TMS started with this "perfect storm" of anxiety, which caused severe TMJ pain. I saw three different doctors. They couldn't explain what the swollen knots were in my neck. We thought for weeks they were swollen lymph nodes. Finally, a PT said they were large knots from my TMJ. I started having period of dizziness, light tingling in my hands/feet, blurry vision. All of my research online (BAD...I should have never researched online!!), lead me to fear MS. We have a friend with MS who is severely handicap and is often in pain. I was petrified. I went back to the doctor, was told I have anxiety and if I had MS, I would "only have pain in my right side." Well, guess what...within a week or two...I had pain in my right arm and leg! Within this time, I had also had a brain MRI after going to the ER from a reaction to the anxiety meds. With all of my symptoms and now an MRI that showed lesions...I was told I probably had MS. My anxiety went off the richter scale. In the weeks and months ahead, I had several tests and saw two different neurologists. All of the tests came back negative for MS, and one neuro said that I do not have MS. The other said...I might. All I had to hear was "might" and I was consumed with fear. MS is very difficult to diagnose, and unfortunately brain lesions are a main indicator.
I lived in constant fear until Feb/March of this year when I finally started taking a couple of anxiety meds that I didn't have a reaction to. I started to feel a little of my old self back. At this point all of my symptoms were gone except pain in my upper right calf. Ironically, I had knee surgery as a teen on my right knee...this kind of goes along with how Dr. Sarno says the body knows where to create the pain (a familiar place).
As of today, I still have this pain on a daily basis. I say I believe 95% in this diagnosis, but I know deep down, I am hoping and praying that my appt at the end of Sept with a MS specialist will put my fears of MS to rest. I feel so strongly about this TMS, that I don't want to wait another day to put off healing. I would love nothing more than to go to that appt in Sept and say I am symptom free!
