Day 1 Day 1

What would a life without TMS mean to you?

Life without TMS would mean I could do everything I've always done. Bend down, sit on the floor, cross-legged, kneel, open jars without pain, use a hammer again. I could hike, climb a mountain, get in a kayak, jump down from something. I could clean my car, in the back of my closet, in the fridge, make the bed without discomfort, take long walks, run up the stairs if I want to, not have to think about what I'm about to do. It would let me be smiling and happy every day. I could plan for things in the future, lose a lot of the stress that is likely associated with the repressed emotions and then some day I might meet a man, fall in love and be in a partnership again. I have found the years of being in pain have really limited me, but perhaps it's not the pain but the emotional repression that have created the limits. Or put another way, I have limited myself by having these repressed emotions. For many years certain wise people have pointed to "anger" as one of the issues that might be at the root of my pain. And I always said, "but I'm not an angry person." Now I am beginning to understand how well hidden the anger is. And that anger comes in many forms. I certainly feel I've been hurt, I've been resentful, I've been sad and I've often been frustrated. So I am very much looking forward to life without TMS.

 

Whoo-Hoo Eveline! I'm here to tell you that someday you WILL be able to do all those things again!! Keep doing this program, the homework and you will feel freer everyday. I also never thought of myself as an angry person but through the self-reflection - then catching myself being angry with my body - I've been able to cultivate much more self-compassion. But its been really great to get in touch with the anger that has been stuffed and make a place for its expression through journalling. I've also become much more comfortable setting up necessary boundaries and taking action of self-care before it falls into a pit of repressed anger which for me immediately translates into back pain.
Glad you're here!