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Day 1 Day 1

hne913

hne913

New Member
Day 1 of the program. I'm really hoping this is it!! (Can you sense the hesitation there?). I read Dr S's book probably almost 4 weeks ago and started immediately feeling better. Then this last week or so it has gone downhill again. I am diagnosed sciatica L5-S1 disc herniation. Have had injections after 1.5 yrs of chronic pain. I have always believed it emotionally related since my initial "injury" happened the week I ended a 7yr relationship and moved back into my dads house. What an emotional roller coaster. I believe 100% in the TMS diagnosis. I just still have the physical fear, like sitting here now I'm accommodating the pain because it just hurts so much to not, and I feel mentally exhausted trying to convince or fight with myself about it not being physical. I know it's not physical but damn it hurts and making physical adjustments eases my stress level. So I have to figure that one out. Sigh* I'm also just fearful about me being one of the few ppl this doesn't work for. But if it's worked for so many... Why should I be any different?!? I can't wait to be pain free!! It would be such an amazing life giving gift.
 
You will be most welcomed here, hne913. Many of us have experienced what you have mentioned in your post. For starters I had read so many stories about people with sciatica and L5-S1 disc issues. I have had a history of sciatica and was diagnosed with a prolapsed disc at L5-S1 despite believing for years my symptoms were pretty much all TMS. However I kept reading the section in Mind Body Prescription where Dr Sarno refutes this diagnosis and insists through years and years of experience that this particular issue is TMS. Many forum posters have been given all kinds of advice and information from doctors, some of it pretty damning, yet these people heal regardless and you will too. It is no coincidence that your felt physical pain after your relationship ended. Loss, separation and feelings of abandonment, even if you were the one to end the relationship, are completely overwhelming so the body steps in and collapses on cue so you have something else to focus on. The problem is you continue to focus on the physical long after the 'injury', such as exhausting yourself trying to accommodate the pain. Instead of trying to make physical adjustments to ease your stress, try other methods of soothing yourself like listening to some of your favourite music, watching an absorbing film, calling a friend up for a chat. Last summer when I was at my absolute physical worst, I tried, like you, to get myself in a comfortable position to no avail. And it did stress me out. Finally I got up and tackled a large pile of ironing. If I couldn't feel comfortable no matter what, I thought I might as well do something useful. Ironing isn't exactly my go-to activity for self-soothing but it did the trick on that particular day. It proved to me that I really didn't need to writhe around on the bed/sofa/floor to feel better.

As for fearing you will be the exception to the rule and never heal, many of us also have experienced this reaction. The only people who don't heal according to Steve Ozanich, author of The Great Pain Deception (great guy and great book), are those who really aren't ready to heal. They need their pain for some personal reason. I am not totally healed. I am definitely a slow healer for my own personal reasons. But I'm also not a quitter.
 
Hello. I am also doing Day One today. I am nervous for very similar reasons. I have been through the program before and made some changes in my pain experience; however, I have never been able to completely get rid of my pain. I hope that I can do so this time around. I watched all these videos and am feeling good about things. I am sure that my problem is TMS, and I know that I have intense rage in my unconscious--feelings that I do not want to ever think about; as well, I am definitely a perfectionist and "goodist" as Dr. Sarno calls it. I will leave it at that for today, but just thought I'd let you know that you are not entering into this journey alone.
 
Hey, I started Day 1 today aswell. I can completely relate to the fear your talking about. Even when the pain I'm feeling disappears for whatever reason, as soon as that fear of the pain returning enters my mind, it comes back, every time.

Good Luck!
 
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