DAY 1

[cuca]

Hello all.
The first time I read Dr. Sarno’s book was over 6 years ago when I woke up one morning unable to move. I was like a turtle on her back for 3 weeks –I was fortunate that my boyfriend at the time took care of me all that time and that I did not loose my job. Someone recommended me “Healing your back pain” by Dr. Sarno. As I turned the pages, I had many “aha” moments. I felt a sense of empowerment and I knew I was going to get better. I did, although slowly. It took about two months to “forget” about the pain and renew my activities.

This time around, the pain began one night, about a year ago, after I curled up in bed and a painful cramp behind the right knee locked my leg with severe pain for about 5 minutes. The following days I knew that I was hurt. It was too painful to walk, so I stopped taking my daily walks. Eventually, afraid of hurting myself more I gave up hiking, horseback riding or sitting cross-legged while meditating. I “accepted” that pain was here to stay.
Dr. Sarno’s book only came to mind recently, and only after I did not know what else to do—Xrays and MRI’s showed nothing wrong; physical therapy, sport’s medicine, and stretching did not help and made my condition worse. I tried plain resignation but I started to feel depressed and feeling very angry. January 20th, 2014, I finished reading the book and I began taking the stairs at work (4th floors, 63 steps), and decided to start walking 30 modest minutes every morning. Although now I am clear about the “psychological pain” behind the physical pain, it is a constant battle. I am religiously following the program. I practice “talking to my mind”, say affirmations, meditate on the pain and on keep track of my emotions. However, it seems as if some part of me is not ready to “let go of the pain” yet. Consciously I have no doubt that the program works, although I do worry sometimes (or hesitate) that my mind may be stronger than my will to heal.

I have looked for a TMS therapist but I have my doubts that they are the real thing…

Thank you.

Cuca Salvat

 

[North Star]

Cuca, WELCOME! You're in a great place here and I'm glad you found us. I've had TMS for years but a pivotal moment for me was a leg cramp when I was pregnant with my first born….20 years ago! That leg cramp continued to cripple me up until several months ago….when I read the MindBody Prescription book. I threw out my orthotics and heel lifts and have been walking pain free since.

One thing I'm learning is that this is a journey and it isn't linear. Just keep reading the book everyday. Hang out here. Keep doing what you're doing. For me, I have Healing Back Pain on my iPod, read by Dr. Sarno, and I listen to parts every day. Steve Ozanich's book, "The Great Pain Deception" is outstanding too. I read a bit from his book every day too.

Re: TMS therapist. Give yourself some time; you may not even need one! Remember Dr. Sarno says only about 10% need therapy. I personally am going to consult with one as my TMS has been pretty severe and of a looooong duration. And if you're wondering about a therapist, feel free to ask members here for recommendations. I got one from Alan Gordon and as far as I'm concerned, his recommendation is as good as gold. Of course, one needs to meet a therapist first to see if you're a good fit for one another.

More than anything….I'm glad you're here. Sit down and make yourself comfortable; you're among friends!

 

[Mermaid]

Hi Cuca

You're doing great already ! You're on the right track so just keep going. I too was in your position very recently, and realised I wasn't going deep enough with my journaling when a read Nicole J. Sachs "The Meaning of Truth". I've made some good progress since adopting her approach. Perhaps you could give it a try.

Also you don't mention the circumstances leading to your developing TMS. I know this will be deeply personal and we would obviously not expect you to share it unless you felt totally at ease doing so, but I wonder if you have given this enough thought yourself, all you mention are your physical symptoms. As you know from Dr.Sarno your attention needs to shift from the physical to the emotional to become symptom free. I apologise if I'm on the wrong track, but that's what struck me from your post.

I found I needed to "think past TMS", expect to get well and visualise what my life will be like when I'm totally symptom free. Losing my fear of the symptoms was also a big thing for me.

I also made the mistake of beating myself up for having developed TMS, I felt like a failure. I realised I was never going to get well in that frame of mind, so I've let myself off the hook and I'm trying to "love" myself better instead.

I was in a real mess, I hit rock bottom, but now I'm so much better. I feel very optimistic about a full recovery.

Much love & blessings

 

[Dahlia]

Cuca, welcome to the forum. You have found a community where you will receive caring support and advice when you need it. The Structured Education Program is very helpful to many. You might want to check it out along with Alan Gordons program.

Wishing you success!