Day 1

[Al Salmon]

Off I go!
I’m 95% convinced my back and hip pain plus general inflammation is TMS.
I’m determined to convince my silly brain of the last little bit.
Worries - Opinions of professionals, thoughts of loved ones, can AS and RA be TMS?
Quite a wall to bust through!

I have a short attention span and crave regular dopamine hits, it’s difficult for me to stick things but I must give this my all, I’ll prove them wrong!

First small victory today was walking to get my post, I have to walk past a mates house and back, and he regularly makes fun of my limp, I just give him some back and it’s only banter but deep down it’s upsetting and the reason my world has shrunk.

Al

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hi Al, and welcome to the forum and the SEP!

can AS and RA be TMS?

I'm not sure you're if actually asking this question or just putting it out there as one of the conflicting stresses you're dealing with but I find this to be an interesting topic based on my own experiences. The premise lies in the well-known fact that stress and inflammation go hand in hand.

I don't know about AS, but I have sudden-onset RA which occurred during a period of extreme stress from multiple outside sources in April 2020 (yes, that spring). This was after 9 years of successful recovery and management of lifelong TMS symptoms which had built to a crisis that almost had me house bound back in 2011, the year I turned 60.

Long story short, after getting the diagnosis I consulted a well known TMS doc in the US who said I could certainly assume that the RA was triggered by the stress, BUT that chronic high inflammation is physiologically very damaging, so I had to take the prescribed drug as long as my blood tests indicated inflammatory markers.

The drug works really well and my new (younger) rheumatologist says I'm "in remission with medication" (and she's actually on board with the stress connection) but we've attempted to lower my dose, which raises the inflammation.

If I could commit to serious meditation maybe I could get off the drug, but 1) I am incredibly resistant to meditation, 2) I have little incentive as the low dose of this very old-line drug is effective, cheap, and has no discernible side effects, 3) I can manage pain flares within hours using my TMS skills (learned from the SEP) and 4) I'm not getting any younger and the world is, well, not great right now.

So I am willing to admit that I've given up on that goal, but here's the thing: compared to the very disabling path I was on 14 years ago, I'm actually doing quite well at age 74, and I've decided to accept what I've got and do my best to be mindful of my stress level, which means getting out the pen and paper when I'm reminded that something in the depths of my unconscious is being repressed. And moderating my news intake.

Mind you, I did attempt to journal my way out of the joint pain five years ago, while the stresses continued to build and I lost my self-preservation in mindless pressure to meet all my obligations - but it was too little too late. Sometimes, that's just the way it goes, and we have to accept the consequences and make the most of our future actions and opportunities.

Which is what you are doing! I saw that you received great advice on your other thread about the whole surgery decision. Based on my observations over the years, of folks here and of friends and relatives, there does not seem to be any serious urgency involved, and if TMS knowledge is already providing benefit, it's the best thing to start with.

Also, be sure to apply a big dose of self-appreciation for this different path you've committed to, and always remember to be compassionate and kind to yourself.

 

[Al Salmon]

Hi Jan, thanks for the eloquent reply, sounds like you’ve been through the mill and I’m glad you’ve found some relief.

My issues are most certainly stress related due to a collection things over the last 10-15 years, I felt fine at the time and coped very well but I think it built up to a level that means now I’m in a bit of trouble.
I’ve managed to create a great work/life balance and I’m generally very positive and happy, I meditate regularly and do yoga most days which really helps but my brain has created lots of fear around walking and has given me a horrid limp.

On another note, I’m a bit confused about the diet side of things, over the years I’ve had various different food intolerance tests done and all results have been different, I tend to stick to low sugar, low carbs and no dairy (sorry if there’s another page for this sort of thing)

I’m beginning to wonder if food is even a problem or whether inflammation in the tummy is causing irregular food intolerance tests.

 

[Cactusflower]

“food intolerance tests done and all results have been different”

Inconsistencies are most often a finger point to TMS. We often chase “testing” for medical answers that ever really provide us with answers. That’s typically how TMS-era end up here.. after everything else is inconclusive, makes no sense and is accompanied by that anxious, fearful, hyper focus that overtakes our lives.
There is scientific evidence that TMS - our thoughts and emotions create chemicals in the body that create inflammation.
Eat the way you feel comfortable with. The key is to find your mindset where you don’t feel controlling or self-pressure to be any way, including eating. If you are feeling restricted, you can do the TMS work and slowly introduce foods to your diet, see what happens.
An open mind and an open heart are all it takes.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I’m beginning to wonder if food is even a problem

The gut-brain/brain-gut (chicken vs egg) connection is irrefutable. I myself, in my 2011 TMS crisis, was suffering from gut stuff and losing weight rapidly, and not in a good way. I kept eliminating foods until I was pretty much on the "white diet" and was thankfully saved by discovering this work. Not only did I go back almost immediately to eating anything I wanted, but I also figured out how to stop having bouts of digestive distress which would keep me up half the night, back and forth to the bathroom. This is something that had been going on for years, obviously (in retrospect) associated with some kind of current stress. Post-Sarno, the first time I felt the familiar signs of nighttime queasiness, I did some deep breathing and talked back to my brain, assuring it that whatever it was trying to do to distract me was totally unnecessary. And it worked. In a few minutes I was sleeping through the night. After a couple more attempts, my brain abandoned that particular symptom.

Mind you, I had another symptom at the time which was harder to break, which is dizziness. It was also more disabling in terms of limiting my activities, and it's a symptom that still returns in times of stress. It doesn't last because I understand it, which means I don't fear it anymore.

The only diet restriction I follow is to try to limit added sugars, because the connection between inflammation and our abnormal sugar intake is clear.

I certainly don't consider avoiding highly processed foods to be a special diet, it's just common sense. I was raised by a European mother on real butter, olive oil, whole milk and lots of fresh fruit and veg, while my American friends were inflicted with skim milk, margarine, and truly disgusting vegetables even though they could afford better. I've spent a lifetime eating real food prepared from scratch, and agree 100% with the mantra popularized by Michael Pollan, slightly paraphrased, which is "Eat real food, not too much, mostly plants". And I still say that if it's not butter, don't bother.

 

[Al Salmon]

Thanks for all the advice.
I’ve never had gut issues with any foods but I subscribed to the leaky gut theory causing my inflammation so went for testing.
Perhaps I’ve been missing out on butter and cheese all this time for no reason.
Bugger!

 

[Diana-M]

my brain has created lots of fear around walking and has given me a horrid limp.

I have to walk past a mates house and back, and he regularly makes fun of my limp, I just give him some back and it’s only banter but deep down it’s upsetting and the reason my world has shrunk.

Hi, Al,
Welcome! So glad you’re here and doing the SEP! Great things are in store for you. I also have fear of walking, which eventually made me give in to those fears and start using a walker. I wish I had known then what I know now and hadn’t let my TMS fears control me. I am also very afraid of what people think of me, and as I started to limp and lose my balance, my symptoms increased because I was ashamed. One of my lessons over the past year has been to get rid of this shame. (I haven’t conquered it completely yet.) I let myself get housebound because of it. And then I really sank low.

I hope you can avoid this pain and anguish. It’s all a smokescreen. It’s not real. TMS wants you to believe you’re broken. You aren’t! You just have some internal issues to sort through. There is so much to learn! It’s quite the amazing journey. You can get yourself back—better than before. Believe it!

 

[Al Salmon]

Thank you Diana, that’s powerful stuff, I’m glad I’m here