• Alan has completed the new Pain Recovery Program. To read or share it, use this updated link: https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/painrecovery/
  • Welcome to the new TMS Wiki server! Things aren't finished yet: email is not set up, so notification and password-reset emails don't go out, and new registrations are paused until email is installed. Details and updates are in this thread (click here). Locked out? Email tmswikisignups@gmail.com from the address where you receive TMS Wiki notifications.

Day 1

Y

Yessy

New Member
Hi all,

Although I've been on this journey for a while now, this is my first post! I've started the Structured Educational Program because I hope it will help me to break through some of my unhelpful patterns. I'll try to briefly describe my journey so far and where I'm at.

About 4 years ago I developed quite severe tinnitus. Having a history of anxiety and different types of fears, my first reaction was complete panic! After several medical checks I ran into TMS and started reading about it. I've also had some emotionel therapy from a therapeut in The Netherlands (where I'm from) that works in line with the TMS Vision. I almost fully 'recovered' from tinnitus. It only shows up every now and then in stressful periods, but doesn't bother me anymore and it always leaves after a few hours/days or sometimes weeks.

However; since that time I have symptoms coming and going all the time. From pelvic pain, to back pain, sinus infections, dry eyes to random pain shoots. Everything shows up, freaks me out and leaves after a while. But my 'problem' is: every time a new symptom shows up, I still get so fearful and am in so much doubt about wether or not this is another TMS thing. I'm always doubting if I should see a doctor or not. But in all cases that I did see a doctor, it always scared me even more. And in the end the symptoms always fade away. And when I am symptom free (usually no longer than 2-3 weeks) it is as if I'm constantly 'scanning' my body to find the next scary thing.

At the moment I'm struggeling with lower back/hip/buttock/leg pain. I'm in a very stressful period (moving houses, raising a high-tempered toddler, critique from my mother, stresful job) so it makes sense from a TMS perspective. A part of me still believes that it is a result of my pregnancy (over 2,5 years ago), but at the same time I know that this cannot be true, since the pain was about 90% gone before. But again I'm thinking: shouldn't I see a doctor first? Because that is wat every TMS expert advices. But on the other hand: I cannot see a doctor every few months for every new symptom, can I? Especially since doctors mostly only make me more scared instead of feeling reassured.

To answer the question of Day 1 of the program (what would a life without TMS mean to you?): it would mean a life without obsession on my body, without fear of my body, and with much more enjoyment, living in the moment, enjoying my beautiful daughter, enjoying nature and being active like I always used to be. It would mean being able to enjoy the small things in life, such as drinking a coffee, feeling the sunshine on my face, enjoying beautiful views, watching my daugher play...

Hope this program will help me!
 
Hi @Yessy, welcome to the forum and Day 1 of the SEP!

Yessy said:
But again I'm thinking: shouldn't I see a doctor first? Because that is wat every TMS expert advices. But on the other hand: I cannot see a doctor every few months for every new symptom, can I?
Click to expand...
This is a tough one for a lot of people! I think this is greatly influenced by the way you were raised. I'm 73 years old, and I was raised by parents who did not run to the doctor every time somebody was a little bit sick or a little bit injured - we were taught how to heal ourselves with home care, although we were also taught to take full advantage of modern preventive measures like vaccines and dentistry. They taught us that minor aches and pains and even weird symptoms usually go away if we don't worry about them, and I've lived my life experiencing this as absolutely true. This is in spite of the fact that I was born with anxiety, due to the circumstances of my mother's first pregnancy, and when I learned about Dr Sarno at age 60, I realized that I'd suffered from stress-based symptoms all of my life. Yet I rarely went to the doctor unless something really bothered me for too long. And when I did go, I was told each time that I was perfectly healthy, but that I seemed to be overly stressed. I would be greatly relieved, and the symptom always disappeared quickly. And of course I never took any action about the anxiety - until the trigger of turning 60 threw me into a full-blown crisis of multiple cascading TMS symptoms in 2011. I was saved from becoming housebound by reading Dr Sarno, doing the SEP, and engaging with the community on this forum.

But that's me and my upbringing. Someone who was raised by parents with health anxiety and obsessive control over their children's safety - which seems to be more common in recent generations, is going to be more inclined to go to the doctor for every little thing. This is not healthy!

There has to be a reasonable balance, and at some point you have to learn to trust your instincts. We should all be aware of the very few major symptoms that must always be addressed immediately, but with time we can also learn that the vast majority of typical symptoms and sensations resolve on their own in a reasonable amount of time. The ones that don't resolve, and instead become chronic without any explanation are, of course, what we call TMS.

It takes an honest and open commitment to doing the emotional work, but the result is that you absolutely can develop the mental skills and the emotional maturity to eventually manage and resolve your chronic symptoms on your own.

Good luck, and we're here to support and help!
 
Hi @JanAtheCPA ,

Thanks for your respons, that means a lot. I agree that I must (re)learn to trust my instincts. While my mother wasn't overly protective as far as I remember, I was raised with the idea that you should always 'fight' your pains and inconveniences. We didn't go to the doctor that often, but I did always get (homeopathic) medicine when I was 'suffering' from something. Or painkillers. While writing this, I realize that I can remember more doctor/hospital visits than I was aware of: I had my tonsils removed when I was 3, I went to a psychiatrist when I was 5 for my anxiety, used asthma-medicine, went to doctors for my lazy eye, to a physiotherapist for back problems when I was about 8, to the GP for fatigue when I was about 10 ;-). Not sure if this is more than the general child.

Anyway, part of my journey is to learn to trust in my bodies ability to heal without me needing to interfere!

So good to hear that Sarno's book helped you, happy for you :-).

Moving forward to day 2!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top