Day 1

[oetam_dude]

I'm undecided about the possibility that I have TMS. I think that it's likely that I suffer from things of psychogenic origin, but is it TMS??

I'm a guy in his early thirties. I've had erectile dsyfunction my entire adult life. I've been to many doctors over the years and always been told that there's nothing wrong physically, that it's likely psychological. Could this be TMS? I assume so. ED is definitely due to a lack of blood flow.... Right now (for the past year) it's the worst it's ever been. Not only do I have the ED, my libido has all but disappeared.

The other condition that I've had for the past 8 months has been intermittent, sometimes extreme exhaustion, along with some other vague psychological symptoms like dull headaches. Several months ago, when this was so bad that I was truly debilitated and desperate, on the verge of a psychotic breakdown I'd say, I had a breakthru after reading about neurasthenia in The Divided Mind. My symptoms did not go away 100%, but they got less constant and severe like 80% better. Is this TMS? It seems to me that blood-flow is less likely a factor, but maybe I'm mistaken. I would be almost certain that this was 100% psychogenic if I hadn't been diagnosed with mild obstructive sleep apnea in November.
where you are right now in your treatment.

I am working on treating the sleep apnea with myofunctional exercises to strengthen my upper airway. I worry that this physical diagnosis might interfere with the "TMS" therapy and prevent any benefits.

I also simply worry that this TMS therapy won't be sufficient to help me overcome my ED and libido issues. But at the same time, I'm hopeful.

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Hello @Neurasthenia_dude, and welcome. Also, please let me know right away if maybe you would like to change your user name to something which does not self-identify you with your condition. Just a thought...

So, TMS is just an acronym that Dr Sarno came up with when he was developing his theories, and we still use it here, because this entire website and forum were developed in his honor. However, it's a little outdated. He was apparently known for saying at the end of his career that instead of Tension Myositis Syndrome, it really ought to stand for The Mindbody Syndrome. There is an association of professional practitioners whose members include all of the "TMS" luminaries that we here know very well - but you won't see "TMS" in their materials, which personally I think is a relevant update. The acronym of choice is now PPD - Psycho-Physiological Disorders . Check them out at the www.ppdassociation.org .

As you are probably already figuring out at this point, TMS is, in fact, psychogenic, psychosomatic, and mindbody. It is also the hideously-characterized "hysteria" of Freud.

And so yes, what you have is what Dr Sarno called TMS - The Mindbody Syndrome.

So Welcome again! I hope you take advantage of our free resources and wonderful community!

~Jan

 

[oetam_dude]

Thanks Jan! I didn't know that PPD is now the term of choice, nor that "TMS" was used as a generic term (as opposed to specifically referring to something due to "tension-myositis"). Great to know!

Maybe my username could be oetam_dude

Thank you for the welcome!

 

[JanAtheCPA]

I DM'd you

 

[oetam_dude]

Hi again. I'm "redoing" this Day One post over one year later. I've lost track of time, but shortly after discovering this website (and at the same time reading other books, doing an audio program, and other things), I got "tired" of doing all the "work" that is therapy and I stopped. As I described above, I had arrived at a moment where my neurasthenia symptoms were mostly better, and I believe that I came to my own conclusion that consistent hard excercise was the best outlet for the stress that was causing my symptoms, bc it seemed the best thing to keep my symptoms at bay.

But one year later I feel the headaches returning, intermittently but rather frequently recently, and I believe that I need to do some re-education. I didn't make it much past "Day One" last time, so I want to see if I can complete the program now.

PPD seems to be the most likely cause of my symptoms, but I frequently have worrying thoughts about there "something being wrong with me", even though I don't have a good explanation. I sometimes fleetingly think of concrete diseases like brain tumors, viruses that I was exposed to when I worked as a RN, a growing tumor somewhere in my body, etc, but the extensive medical work that I had done 1.5 yrs ago was all negative, and given that I experienced so much recovery after reading about PPD, that is still the logical causation.

 

[oetam_dude]

Another major doubt that I have is that in the various PPD things I have seen or read, there seems to be disagreement over whether the main causes are deep psychological/emotional issues (eg. feeling insecure due to something in childhood, or RAGE) or just simple "stress".

 

[JanAtheCPA]

Another major doubt that I have is that in the various PPD things I have seen or read, there seems to be disagreement over whether the main causes are deep psychological/emotional issues (eg. feeling insecure due to something in childhood, or RAGE) or just simple "stress".

In my experience it's a combination of both things. At any given time, it could be one or the other. This is the human condition. It's not black and white. This journey is certainly not going to be any kind of a straight line with clear guidelines and milestones. Also, this is not a "one and done" cure by any means.

Many people can have temporary success by applying the knowledge cure and dealing with their anxiety. There are a ton of resources out there which seek to take advantage of this phenomenon by offering advice on how to achieve the knowledge cure, and this is the kind of work that appeals to anyone who is avoiding the deeper emotional work. Sometimes the knowledge cure is enough. But we see an awful lot of people returning here after a period of time (sometimes decades, sometimes months) saying that it did not last, and they are ready to do the "real" work.

Regarding childhood, Nicole Sachs is well known for saying that "no one escapes childhood unscathed". Here is a link and description of the "ACEs Quiz" and its relevance to physical suffering in adulthood, and how to use it to inform your self-exploration:
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/aces-quiz-online-printable-versions.27061 (ACEs "quiz" - online & printable versions) (ACEs "quiz" - online & printable versions)

I came across the ACEs quiz a few years ago, and my score is zero. This was years after I did the Structured Educational Program back in 2011. In doing exercises in the SEP, I found a ton of memories to write about, comprising all sorts of typical childhood interactions and incidents which result in guilt, embarassment, shame, and rage - and which helped to form my relationship to the adult world. In other words, I had a normal and overall very good childhood - although another thing I realized by taking the time to put all the pieces together is that I was born with anxiety due to the circumstances of my mother's first pregnancy. I later took the quiz again from a slightly more subtle point of view, and decided that my score is probably like 0.25 out of 10, due to a few years of isolation in my childhood when my parents had three more kids after me. But it didn't last, and my parents made it up to me later when their lives were less chaotic.

I think there are a lot of early dynamics in perfectly loving and caring families which are ultimately not that healthy due to parental anxiety. And of course, THAT can take many forms, all the way up to ultra-controlling. Not ostensibly abusive, certainly not neglectful - but ultra-control is always extremely harmful to emotional development.

It's subtle! And every single story is DIFFERENT. This is why there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

Bottom line: some people will do anything to avoid facing the emotional nature of their physical and psychological pain, and they will spend all of their time and energy desperately searching for some other explanation and an easier solution. What we see here, over and over, is that the effort spent in trying to find THE one explanation, leading to THE one solution, is ultimately pointless.

I will close with what Nicole Sachs says, regarding the source of chronic symptoms: "Life is a choice between what hurts and what hurts worse."

 

[Diana-M]

@oetam_dude -
Welcome back! It sounds like you know you have TMS, but you can’t believe what a pain in the butt it’s going to be to get better. Maybe if you stick your head in the sand, it will all go away. Trust me. That’s what we all want to do. But if the stress remains high, your symptoms will escalate. And eventually, you’ll pretty much do anything to get better. (That’s my story!) Jan’s post above is top notch. She’s so good at laying things out.

For me, all my learning about TMS (or any other name you want to give it) is you have to tackle 3 things:
Your past
Your present
Your personality

You can layer that effort. But just keep digging. The free clases here and all the gazillion resources mentioned by people on this forum won’t lead you wrong. You pretty much have nothing to lose, but maybe your symptoms.

 

[oetam_dude]

In my experience it's a combination of both things. At any given time, it could be one or the other. This is the human condition. It's not black and white. This journey is certainly not going to be any kind of a straight line with clear guidelines and milestones. Also, this is not a "one and done" cure by any means.

Many people can have temporary success by applying the knowledge cure and dealing with their anxiety. There are a ton of resources out there which seek to take advantage of this phenomenon by offering advice on how to achieve the knowledge cure, and this is the kind of work that appeals to anyone who is avoiding the deeper emotional work. Sometimes the knowledge cure is enough. But we see an awful lot of people returning here after a period of time (sometimes decades, sometimes months) saying that it did not last, and they are ready to do the "real" work.

Regarding childhood, Nicole Sachs is well known for saying that "no one escapes childhood unscathed". Here is a link and description of the "ACEs Quiz" and its relevance to physical suffering in adulthood, and how to use it to inform your self-exploration:
https://www.tmswiki.org/forum/threads/aces-quiz-online-printable-versions.27061 (ACEs "quiz" - online & printable versions) (ACEs "quiz" - online & printable versions)

I came across the ACEs quiz a few years ago, and my score is zero. This was years after I did the Structured Educational Program back in 2011. In doing exercises in the SEP, I found a ton of memories to write about, comprising all sorts of typical childhood interactions and incidents which result in guilt, embarassment, shame, and rage - and which helped to form my relationship to the adult world. In other words, I had a normal and overall very good childhood - although another thing I realized by taking the time to put all the pieces together is that I was born with anxiety due to the circumstances of my mother's first pregnancy. I later took the quiz again from a slightly more subtle point of view, and decided that my score is probably like 0.25 out of 10, due to a few years of isolation in my childhood when my parents had three more kids after me. But it didn't last, and my parents made it up to me later when their lives were less chaotic.

I think there are a lot of early dynamics in perfectly loving and caring families which are ultimately not that healthy due to parental anxiety. And of course, THAT can take many forms, all the way up to ultra-controlling. Not ostensibly abusive, certainly not neglectful - but ultra-control is always extremely harmful to emotional development.

It's subtle! And every single story is DIFFERENT. This is why there is no one-size-fits-all answer.

Bottom line: some people will do anything to avoid facing the emotional nature of their physical and psychological pain, and they will spend all of their time and energy desperately searching for some other explanation and an easier solution. What we see here, over and over, is that the effort spent in trying to find THE one explanation, leading to THE one solution, is ultimately pointless.

I will close with what Nicole Sachs says, regarding the source of chronic symptoms: "Life is a choice between what hurts and what hurts worse."

Hi Jan! Diana was right: you're REALLY good at "laying things out"! I really appreciate your thoughtful response.

I never thought about the methods of the knowledge cure / reducing stress vs "doing the hard work", which is the psychological digging. This perspective is useful for me; I will keep it in mind!

I will definitely look into the ACE quizzes. Remembering any negative experiences in my childhood was a difficult thing for me in previous explorations (bc I too had a very good childhood)!

I realize that what you have said about there not being ONE explanation, that things are not black and white, is very wise!

Thank you for your help!

 

[oetam_dude]

@oetam_dude -
Welcome back! It sounds like you know you have TMS, but you can’t believe what a pain in the butt it’s going to be to get better.

For me, all my learning about TMS (or any other name you want to give it) is you have to tackle 3 things:
Your past
Your present
Your personality

Absolutely! I did get tired of the "work" previously (I was so tired in general; it was my major symptom), but now I have more energy and am back bc I realize that there is work to be done!

I'm writing down the "3 things"... great tip!

Thank you so much for your reply!

 

[Diana-M]

I'm writing down the "3 things"... great tip!

I think those tips are from Sarno himself! There’s more on it here in the SEP https://www.tmswiki.org/ppd/Educational_Program_Day_3 (Educational Program Day 3)