Day 1

I have spent the majority of my life being extremely active. I played numerous sports growing up and continued that passion becoming engrossed in health and fitness, in particularly weightlifting. In September of 2018 I started to have weakness in my left shoulder and arm. I had this one time before a couple of years prior and it went away, so I was not to alarmed when it popped up again. This time it wasn't going away in a timely manner and I started to have pain in my left trapezius. Then along came Nov.3 2018, I was foam rolling my thoracic spine and all of a sudden I went into a full blown anxiety. I had never experienced this before and I have not recovered from this yet. I also felt like at this point the whole left side of my body was not firing like the right side in terms of muscle. My left thigh and calve have atrophied. Other symptoms started to invade themselves as well. I will just list them to make this easier to read.

From Head-Toe: hairloss, loss of vision in right eye with floaters, right eye headache, vertigo (went away thank God), tinnitus, dry mouth/nose/eyes, hair loss in patches on both arms, digestive issues, weight loss initially upwards of 20-30lbs, frequent urination, foamy urination, extreme anxiety 24x7, depression, depersonalization, foggy thinking, insomnia...

Treatments: Neurologist x2; Neurosurgeon x2, chiropractors x4, PT x3, Therapist x 5( currently I see a TMS therapist), nutritional counseling with tons of vitamins and mineral supplements, acupuncture x 2

I think about my pain and/ or anxiety 24x7. It runs me and has taken me to a very dark place in my life. I am scared to death to have surgery and am equally scared to have something permanently wrong with me. I have read all the books and try to believe in TMS. I think I want to believe in it so I can avoid facing surgery, not necessarily because I truly believe in it. My major doubt is that I continue to lift weights and try to be engaged in activities that I used to and EVERY TIME my neck and shoulder flair up. Also, my MRI findings match my weakness precisely. C5-C7 with weakness in my shoulder, scapula, triceps, biceps. That's my demise when it comes to fully 100% believing.

 

Howdy...if you have not read it yet, Dr. Sarno's work is very useful at dispelling the link between back/neck pain and most common MRI findings like stenosis, herniated discs, degenerative disc disease, etc. Studies show that a large percentage of adults have these "conditions" but feel no pain, making them a relatively normal part of the aging process. Generally, there are no weird diseases that cause the vast symptoms you are dealing with. The only other thing I can think of to do if you have not already is to have a full blood work up by a primary care doctor to rule out common health issues. Otherwise, it sounds like you've been through the medical ringer already.

Another recommendation, even if you have trouble accepting that your neck/shoulder pain is TMS, start with your other symptoms first. Focus on trying to heal from the anxiety, dry mouth, digestive issues, etc. I did a similar thing myself. I had IBS with constipation for over a decade before I was nearly incapacitated from symptoms resembling Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. I focused on healing from CFS first, then turned my attention to the digestive/IBS issues. That was harder to deal with since I had been suffering from it for a lot longer.

However you proceed, patience is key. Healing is a process and it often takes time. Do your best to stick with the program and make sure to record any signs of success and improvement, no matter how small. They will help you down the road. Good luck!